Saturday, June 1, 2013


From Dec 16th 2012, after the Delhi gang rape case that shook the conscience of the country, I have been very deeply disturbed. As much for the sexual violence that is happening but more for the repeated reiteration of the hypocrisy prevalent among us. As the nation shook…and the international media had a hay day, all and sundry were compelled to act. Corporate offices had special seminars on women’s safety…schools/colleges lead candle lights…billions danced for safety…awards were given dime to dozen for all Tom, Dick & Harry who could spell sexual assault correctly and were capable of speaking at a stretch for 30 minutes on this issue!!!

All this was happening in a way that it was highlighted adequately in the media…so practically the nation was eating, sleeping and breathing sexual assault. Not even a month had passed three sisters all between 6-11yrs went missing in Maharashtra. The police refused to file a missing case…and very condescendingly told the family to search( as if they had not already!)….no family will rush to police without doing their own enquiry. Three days later, the decomposed bodies of these three children was found in a nearby pond.

 The Madhya Pradesh Police were even more creative, they went ahead and kept a 5 yr old rape victim in the lock up!!!

Delhi Police inspite of all the attention they were getting were still not ready to wake up. A 5 yr old was abducted…imprisoned in the third floor of the same building that the parents stayed. The police refused to file the missing complaint. On the third day when the same police rose from their slumber they were able to trace the child…gang raped… sadistically violated in the same building.

To me what was interesting was, when the first Delhi gang rape case was reported, Chief Minister of Delhi announced a cash compensation of 10 lakhs and the Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister 15 lakhs. 

Somehow none of the other cases received any offer of any compensation!!!

Just two months back, I was dealing with the rape of a 5 yr old. The Child Welfare Committee was handing this child to me for further care. What was shocking to me, all the stakeholders involved Dept of Women & Child, CWC were talking of the rape case and its details, but not a single one was interested in getting a case booked. The villagers had handed over the raped orphan child to the local anganwadi and they just handed to their superior officers!

So what is the great impact of all this visibility…and such extraordinary media attention either on the general public or the state or the stakeholders such as police or dept of women & child. Is our basic attitude and perception changing because of this attention? Are victims getting the care and compensation they deserve as a matter of right.

Do any of the following happen:
-Police book the case as their basic duty…without any pressure from the media or public
-Dept of Women & Child or the relevant departments provide compensation as their non-negotiable departmental mandate.
-Victim have access to support in a dignified environment.
-Government evolves victim friendly policies as a matter of primary duty…not because it is nearing election time.
-Public react…no matter what…as they believe this will not be tolerated.

Finally the fundamental question is ARE WE WILLING TO ACT TO MAKE THIS SOCIETY FREE OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE? Not because media is making a lot of noise…not because it is in fashion these days…not because something pricks you momentarily….but because we believe no child…no woman…no human being deserves to be violated.


  1. Finally the fundamental question is ARE WE WILLING TO ACT TO MAKE THIS SOCIETY FREE OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE? Not because media is making a lot of noise…not because it is in fashion these days…not because something pricks you momentarily….but because we believe no child…no woman…no human being deserves to be violated.

    Yes you welsaid

  2. The harassing violations existed about 5 years back too but victims and their families kept mum and went into hiding instead; if times and beliefs were not changing then same would have been today; however people now do not alienate but support the hurt. I do agree that perhaps its a pressure from various influences that led to this call, but the very fact that people are stepping to ask justice is truly a positive change, and I somehow am positive that this is the road to evolution. Yes the look of disgust has now changed to a look of pity, but atleast something has strengthened the broken to stand up, come out and face the world. These are the times when mothers need to tell their children that its not their fault that they were violated but they have been victimized with a crime and they should fight back for justice.

  3. Sometimes I get to meet my friends who were my classmates, some of them were brilliant, were even toppers in the class. Now I see them wearing sindoor, mangalsutra, explain their in laws don't like this or that. How their husbands want a Boy child. I see their looks and even names changed after marriage and I ask WHY? When I picture woman, I see a figure which is gigantic,like earth, no man can grow to that size ,can raise himself to that height of humanity.
    Women love & care selflessly, they can work and accomplish more than a man can, they can endure so much pain to give happiness to others..Then how come a Man is Superior to woman? Why she has to leave her house after marriage in the name of tradition, why her love for her parents stands no value but boy & his mother's love is awarded a heavenly stand. Why she's treated like a servant, an idiot, worthless...In India. Even the Govt. forms ask for only father's name.

    Why...because India is filled with idiots. The country is paying the price for its attitude. After all labeling a gemstone as a rock doesn't change the nature of gemstone, just prove that people are stupid.

    1. true and yes "even the govt. forms ask for only father's name"..not only father,it is father's or husband's name..nowadays mother's name has been included in some forms,but there is a doubt whether they will add "wife's name" ever..
      our govt. or the whole system is based on patriarchy..cowardice mindset is ruling our country.............
      if this continues,the system is not faraway from self-destruction...

    2. exactly...why women are made to be ashamed of their body and men boast about theirs. Women's body is a temple, nothing more sacred than someone who gives birth and breathes life into an individual and we idiots don't get that.

  4. Instead of cursing the government and the police, its time to look at ourselves. You can punish the guilty, but that doesn't stop further crimes. You can compensate the victim and rehabilitate, but you cannot undo what happened. Isn't prevention better than cure?When the child was imprisoned and raped in the building, surely she sent out desperate cries for help (to say the least!). Had the residents of the building taken action, this would never have happened. Vigilance is not just for government bodies and police. Its the duty of citizens too!

  5. Sorry but India is not ready..the way I see people , men & women following mindless rituals, the lifestyle in which there is hardly any time to be sensitive towards other humans pain , the way children are raised ..I don't see any light. There are "no girl " villages , and even then these people don't get the lesson and continue to buy/sell girls from other villages.
    The day when every woman wakes up and slaps their idiot sons or husbands is the day when things can turn around..but thanks to the traditional brainwashing sooner or later this country is going to die out.

  6. I am ashamed to be an Indian;
    unable to look at rape victims
    unable to read rape cases
    unable to change the sick mind
    unable to change the laid back attitude
    unable to believe in society
    unable to fund
    unable to believe if the fund would reach
    unable to believe in prayers
    unable to stand up for others
    unable to stand up for women's right
    unable to stop staring and start helping
    unable to start the fight against rape
    Sorry for being a disabled Indian!!!

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