Am I selfless?
This is a question that has haunted me for years.
When I was a child and when I was taunted by many for my small size...they called me kulla kathiraka (short brinjal), penguin and many other names I now do not recall...it definitely became refined in college...they called me KULZ(shorty), I used to think 'wait till I become something' I will...(not exactly sure what I would teach them or prove to them).
Later in life when I waited for hours on end to meet a District Collector( also the District Magistrate) or was repeatedly humiliated by officials for the work I was doing, I still remember this senior police officer whose orderly ordered me to remove my footwear to enter the office and when I actually met the holy officer he would not even look at my face, the whole appointment lasted 2mins ( I had taken the appointment 1 week in advance)...in those times my chaotic mind churned with such negativity would respond...wait till I become the prime minister of India (of course in these cases I knew 100% what I will do...transfer the officer to the dark dungeon corners of the world!!!) or when I have to walk in a crowd and I am scared to get crushed...I think wait till I get the Nobel Prize and Oscars( this is my lifelong fantasy...not sure how I will ever reach there...but in my fantasy I even have my speech ready)...and right now when I am crawling on my knees meeting hordes of officers just to get a piece of land to relocate my economic rehabilitation unit(my landlord Mr Baburvahan Reddy wants us to vacate immediately, none of my pleas appealing for support for our work has any effect on him...last year he did that about our shelters and we were forced to buy land 60 km outside Hyderabad and start construction...in two months time we will shift the shelters...he on the other hand is doubling the rent even for temporary respite... I am not sure why I do not meet any of those generous philanthropist who donate their land for good causes) and each one of the officers I meet tell me how it is not possible to get a land in and around Hyderabad...and I am still going offices to offices hoping a miracle will happen and I may get 2 acres of land in Hyderabad or close to it... and then I read in the newspaper that all the corporates and industries in the world are being given land in and around Hyderabad with overwhelming generosity by the Government of Andhra Pradesh...I grind my teeth and I think....wait till I...
Is this not craving for power, position and fame? Why do I till date continue to have such thoughts...especially when the world is hostile...not supportive...creating obstacles in everything I do... am I truly working on my mission without expecting any gains. Just because I do not crave for any monetary gains( I have never taken a salary) does that necessarily mean I do not crave for other things like fame and recognition. What do I want?
I know my churning will continue...the only thing I am sure as of today is my cravings are stronger and deeper especially when I am in deep crises...with hostility at every end...provoking me...questioning my mission...making me feel voiceless for my children...my girls...
:) i seriously wish u become the Prime minister..
ReplyDeletevery nice...hope u will get a land bigger than that...
ReplyDeleteSunitha, (somehow, you are so close to my heart that i will call you by your name even thought i am probably half your age!)
ReplyDeleteI believe that we all live our life with some goals and some aims to achieve them. If in those aims, we end up asking the Almighty for some "BONUS POWER" like being an authority over those idiots, Smile ... because you found yourself to be human ... In our social work, we forget at some point of time that we exist as human (with love, hatred and all other emotions).
Sometimes our work become such a priority that we lose the meaning of our own desires.
Though here you may disregard these urges as reactions to those disheartening events, believe me ... you are achieving something far more wonderful ... you are starting the same fire in our hearts ... us .. the readers ...
There will be moments ... And God knows .. there will be ... when I as insignificant as I am , will rise to your side !!!
May God bless you !!
And let your heart still wish to be the president, or the Matrix or Dumbledore or any power that you want ...
because its your heart that pumps the Will to live among your friends ..
keep up your good work.. you deserve for fame and positions..
ReplyDeleteHello Dr. Sunitha. I am Rooh, residing in Ludhiana, Punjab. Heard you and want to be of any/whatever help I can be. Can you please mail me your contact details on chowdhuryrooh@yahoo.com? Also please let me know if we can meet. I shall be in Hyderabad on 8th and 9th of November.
ReplyDeleteU ll get the land for sure maam.... u r here in this position today jus bcoz of ur courage and determination and that ll get u the land....
ReplyDeleteNow coming to ur fantasy of getting a noble prize... That may be jus a fantasy to u but to me its a dream to watch Dr.sunitha krishnan receiving NOBLE PEACE PRIZE and im sure i ll watch it... :)
good one.... hope u ll get the land soon......
ReplyDeletegood one.... hope u ll get the land soon
ReplyDeleteI also like to see u as PM and pray for u to won The Nobel Prize .Because u deserve it . I'm sure all your dreams become true .
ReplyDeleteI wish you become the PM and one day get a Nobel too.. you deserve it
ReplyDeleteI don't think it is about Power or Position, I feel it is just frustration which creeps in when someone works so hard for such a noble cause, but have to encounter so many hurdles on the way. Maam, you have a huge network, why can't all of us pool in money and buy a land.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why I am writing this. Words would be of little help to you in your endeavor. People like me are infinitely more selfish than you, satisfying our creature comforts never sparing a thought about the less fortunate. Never opening our purse, to share. Hope soon I will write a cheque than comments.
ReplyDeleteyou may have experienced thousands of smiles of gratitude,if just a few gives me the greatest level of mental satisfaction,i wonder how much u might have gained from thousands....,its ur gain, the mental satisfaction on seeing a smile of gratitude...
ReplyDeletehi sunitha
ReplyDeletei am retired wg.cdr.r.s.murthy.
i and my wife have lots of time and energy.
if you think we could be of some use to you pl contact me at murthyrsm@gmail.com
wish u sucesses
Mam, I recently heard about you and your activities. Each one of us has some duty on this earth that GOD wait for&watch behind.. Any thing without a proper aim will be worthless. Doing duties without any worldly desires is a difficult state to land upon... Best wishes for your good work.
ReplyDeleteAlmost a similar kind of feeling is on my mind too...may be thats what happens when we want to do something but are unable to do it because of some things which are beyond our control
ReplyDeleteHello sunitha...I came to know about you and your activities recently and bow my head for you..I am basically from hyderabad and am working in chennai..I would be very happy if i can contribute to your work in any possible way..
ReplyDeleteYou can contact me at vinoda.akkina@gmail.com
My best regards and appreciation for the good work you have been doing. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteJay
i'm Revathee. i'm from Malaysia. No matter how far u r away from me, i still supports u, Ms.Sunitha. U r absolutely not a selfish person.... SELFISH person don't care about people around them but U r different. U cares a lot for women. U voice out for woman's justice. I salute u for Who u r:)
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs Krishnan,
ReplyDeleteI don't think that you are 'selfish' at all. I think its rather a 'need' of those things then a want. And why is that? Because you are in a country and more specifically a state that does not support your endeavor - an endeavor that they should support as it an intensely moral cause. In my opinion India is going down the 'shithole', and the fact that your landlord, the law enforcement and the rest of its people to a large extent cannot see your noble cause...well let me say...may Yamaraja have mercy on their souls, even though I believe compassion is something they least deserve along with those other evil idiots you have to fight everyday to save all the women and children that you do. Who wouldn't then crave for fame and power...especially if its the fame and power you are craving for to make India a better place, at least its for that reason, unlike all the other corrupt politicians who just crave for fame and power to sleep with underage prostitutes(something you yourself are aware of) and swindle money. In addition, a state where thousands give immense wealth to Sri Balaji, I cannot believe they are not willing to give to a cause that will uphold Dharma in the land of India (isn't that the whole point of our Hindu religion - isn't that the whole point of Balaji's incarnation?). It is stated that women are the embodiment of Lakshmi and every Indian you meet you must know is after "Lakshmi" right? But yet you and very few other persons are truly protecting and taking care of these embodiment's of Lakshmi while the rest of India does nothing - I wouldn't be surprised if Balaji is giving out more curses to the people of Andhra then blessings for their treatment of women and those helping them. Don't give up on your mission, you have a lot of support online and from overseas still. If you still believe in God...pray...even maybe to Narayana/Balaji...you have all the wonderful Laksmis already:-)...maybe all you need is to put them together and you never know what may happen:-). I would love to help out if I resided in India in a more physical way then just donating - but I will start off with that first. Don't give up ok! You may think you're selfish but you've changed the hearts of so many people around the world by your selfless service to those that can't protect themselves. Just watch, all these industries and corporations will BURN India again as did Monsanto and Bhopal (will India ever learn?) but your cause may just save it :-) So keep going, I will keep you, Prajawala and the women and children in my thoughts and prayers.
Dear Sunitha Ma'am
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I would like to congratulate you on the kind of mission that you carry out. I cannot say that I feel your pain but like you said, it makes me angry to be taken advantage of by men. I've been through something recently and have wanted to volunteer for a job like this ever since. This made me take up a job in an NGO. I've just passed out of engineering but I had always wanted to work for an NGO as issues such as poverty and death leave me depressed. Sex trafficking is definitely one of them now.
I live in Hyderabad and it is not possible for me to travel or relocate. If there is anything I can possibly do, please let me know on fariha119@gmail.com
Proposal for cutting thru Indian governmental corruption: obtain alliances with US corporations that use IT outsourcing. I worked for Patni (alongside Wipro) at Weyerhaeuser Corp in Washington State, USA. 30 miles away from my workplace, Microsoft uses hundreds of Indian IT workers. These corporations are always looking for ways to appear to be good global citizens. If you provided compelling evidence of the corruption of Indian officials (like your tax office functionary), US corporations might exert influence upon Wipro, Patni, Infosys which would then exert influence on the government to clean up corrupt officials.
ReplyDeleteLet's get started!! Give me the name, title, address of your latest bribe-hungry official. Give me all the particulars of your interactions, dates, what was said, etc. If possible, carry a voice recorder to catch the rascal asking for a bribe. Send all to me and I'll take it to Microsoft!!
I came to know about you thru a post in FB very recently. And my urge to know more about you brought me to read this blog of yours.Being a woman myself, though I have had a very sheltered life and with possible material comfort I can feel your anger and frustration. I strongly believe that we get back what we give - As u sow, so you reap.....
ReplyDeleteSince I am not in a position to contribute towards the cause in a manner that can change lives of thousands overnight, I sincerely pray for your success at the moment.
Would also like to share another strong belief of mine - when you are in the prayers of so many people only good can happen to you.
GOD Bless...
All the best Sunitha.I know how tough your job is. Keep to the narrow stright path. You will be there. I assure you.
ReplyDeleteDear sis sunitha,jesus said Come unto me, all you that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.when God is on your side ...who can be against you....
ReplyDeleteI just want to tell you that as you are sacrificing your life for these poor girls who r burned for the desire of selfish men ,without caring for your own life....God is with u and He will fulfill your hearts desire as he told in His scripture... God says...365 times in bible fear not for I am with you.... and He will protect you and these girls life...
may be at this age of 21 i cant do much help personally other than spreading your mission..but I assure you that when i stand on my feet I will help you with my whole strength.... ravi kiran....college student
hello madam
ReplyDeleteI m nithish,from srilanka,colombo i just saw your video in fb. It made me feel very angry towards this society and where it is going towards. So madam i would do some thing simple other than doing some thing digger as a student for this corruptting society.Some thing good.
mam,
ReplyDeletevery much proud of you and the work you are doing, you are truly an inspiration for everyone especially for us...the female community......I'd say you are the only voice for the hundreds and thousand of silent suffers and i'd pray one day this silence will break....keep smiling...we're with you...
Ms. Sunitha, you are craving to be even better human being than what you are today! If every one of us crave to be a good person like you, world would have been a better place to live in. I think what you want is to remain in people's heart which you already do. You are truly an inspiration :)
ReplyDeleteDear Dr Krishnan,
ReplyDeleteFeel proud and touched by your work. I am all set to work with you. I will be coming to India in this December and shall try to meet. Please let me have your number so can call you for a prior appointment. Mine is +6598531912 and +919850201140.
Rgds
Capt Gajanan Karanjikar
Singapore.
Dear Ma'am,
ReplyDeleteI am a 20 year old student pursuing MBA in International Business.. For a long time now i have been trying to look for work that wouldn't be just work but also a part of me.. a part of who i am.. i wish i can be of some help.
e-mail: mridulya@hotmail.com
Dear Dr.Sunitha Krishnan,
ReplyDeletei wish you get the land, million dollars and rich philanthropists before you read this comment.
When ever I read about you, you light a fire inside me to think again about choices in life.
Choices of ' life of a career struck money maker or a family struck child maker' or something greater as similar to you.
Yet,I know its very very very difficult to chose a life that u have chosen!
I wish if we had at least 100 people like you..
To take a very challenging responsibility and to stick to it for a life time is 'greatness'.
Ma'am we wish to read how you accumulated the courage and what inspires minds like you..
All the best.
Hasna Fathima
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI am an engineering student cum management graduate cum activist. Hence i have some experience of dealing with all three and more importantly learning from all three. I do seriously feel all organisations, need management philosphy, the reason coporates work is because they make the right assumptions about humans. Which is that they are selfish and in search of materialistic fulfillment. NGOs, most of them which are good intentioned seem to lack this vision.
There are a lot of people I admire but somehow I both admire, respect and love you. I hope you do very well. It's not the impact ( as world is but a transient place) but the effort which counts. Your work inspires countless people like us and i think that is what counts more than effectiveness of what u do.
There is a great comment said by Anuradha Koirala( who is under the same mission like you in Nepal), She saya" just imagine if it was your own daughter that is trapped here, how would you react?". Every individual would contribute aggressively towards your mission. Imagine all the responsible parents would do to get their daughters out of this hell.The thing is you are( sunitha) selfless and rest all of us are selfish unfortunately living in our own world, small family, small house, small job.
ReplyDeleteYou have changed me so much. I have read extensively about your work. I have decided to do something ...better than nothing.
Wish you all success
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your courage, hard work and dedication toward women. I saw your speech on you tube and frankly, it was difficult for me to even hear it.
ReplyDeleteI would like to donate couple of thousand rupees for your good work.
Please send me your email details so I can communicate further with you.
My best wishes are always with you.
Please mail me at cma_sss@yahoo.com.
Please consider it as serious mail.
Sunitha, I'm so sorry that you're struggling so much in your work. I gave your information to the humanitarian arm of my church, and I'm hoping very much that they can help you with some of your projects. My church partners with a lot of different organizations around the world, and they have a lot of resources. Certainly Christ's admonition that when we help the least of these others we are helping Him, certainly that applies to children and girls being trafficked more than almost anyone else.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so strong and determined. Your work absolutely will pay off in great benefits to those whom you help. It's easy to get discouraged, but it's a mistake. If I could pour you full of strength and determination and courage, I would do that.
Lately I tried to help a pregnant couple who needed a place to stay, and they ended up stealing from me and slandering me. It's quite discouraging sometimes to do your best for others. But God gave me peace about it through prayer. He let me know that it was my job to provide doors for people to climb out of poverty, and it was their job to walk through those doors. The husband returned to doing drugs as soon as he had a truck that I loaned them money to help buy, and then there went all their savings and progress. Because of his instability and drug use I was no longer able to let them stay in my home. After they left we discovered that he stole money and valuables, and of course did not pay back what they owed on the truck. Had he been able to quit taking drugs, they could have had a good stable home for a long time. So they hurt themselves more than me and my family, in the end, as all people who pursue evil do.
I think everyone who tries to do good things for people in need becomes vulnerable somewhat to being harmed. Like, of course you know not to give your bank information out to people who ask for it. 99 of them might be honest, but 1 will steal, so you have to give them the Global Giving link so they can donate to you without risk.
So, all I can say is that it happens to everyone who tries to do good. That you should do your best to stay secure and safe, and not lose faith. Good absolutely is going to win out in the end. It may not happen in our lifetimes but we know it will happen eventually and so we need to renew our faith and determination whenever it flags, and just be as wise as serpents and gentle as doves.
Know that you have the goodwill of people all over the world, and that the work you do is worthwhile for its own sake. People are people and will make mistakes and succumb to temptation. Protect yourself as best you can, and go forward. It's not a reflection on you or your work. It just means you've given people opportunities they didn't have, and a few of them will make poor choices with the new opportunities they receive.
Dear Dr Sunitha
ReplyDeleteI heard about you from a friend of mine.
We are all human beings.But there are better beings and worse,the inhuman ones.And you are fighting the latter.
Every person needs recognition of work.In your case,it is all the more important.When you get recognized, and people know you better,you will find it easier to get things done. I am writing a blog on you, and then would try to spread news of your activities among friends.
And I will definitely come up with whatever little help I could do.
Dear Sunita
ReplyDeleteToday is the fist day that I came to know about you and the cause you support, you truely are an inspiration for many of us. I live and work in New Delhi and wish to know how I could be of help to you. Kindly email me at divyamohanankk@yahoo.com.
Trust me you are not voiceless...if you were...may be me or the many other people who have posted their comments on you blog would'nt have heard you.
Your name has something to do with greatness i guess because whenever i hear the name sunitha i think about you and the hardships u r going thru...v never meet up good ppl in our life...its very rarely tat v meet them up and wen v meet them we don't recognize them...here many of them want to help you they might be good so just take their help and even im ready to help...so i guess we could all join hands and fight together
ReplyDeleteDr.Sunitha,
ReplyDeleteThe work you are doing will never go unrecognized for. Until there are people like you who value girls and seek for their upliftment, there is still some hope left for us. I may not have the strength and courage that you have but you are an inspiration to ordinary everyday people like me to become an extraordinary person like you.
Your strength gives an inspiration for many more Sunitha Krishnans to grow in India 'cause, God knows we need it.
Kudos to your work! :)
ReplyDeleteRespected ma'am,
ReplyDeleteI am just an MBA final year student at the Indian Business Academy, Bangalore. somehow went through your speech at the TED India summit last year, and had tears in my eyes.
I have never came across a person who has been beaten up so hard by destiny and yet standing so tall. Hat's off to you ma;am!!
After reading your blogs and the struggle you go through day in day out,I just want to join hands with you in your cause in whichever way possible.
I know i have nothing to give it out to you but my commitment and the fire burning inside to bring about a change.
Ma'am please give me an opportunity.
Regards,
Jijo Thomas
Indian Business Academy
Bangalore
9880210339
hello maam,
ReplyDeleteMy eyes were filled with tears while watching your video from the TED conference. My family is well off yet I was molested by two different men (they weren't strangers) who were in their 40's and it happened when I was 8 years. It had such a negative impact in my life. I can imagine what those girls would be going thru.
I work with Microsoft and please let me know how I can help you. Personally, I won't be able to donate much. However, if you want me to raise funds etc. I can check. Please mail me on hotpeppy16@yahoo.com
Ma'am.. This is Shirisha. I know i cant really contribute anything..except a hearty prayer to God that u may get land and a hearty wish that u may get a Nobel Prize...
ReplyDeletehope you get the land soon, because you deserve for fame and positions.
ReplyDeleteHI, ms sunitha i and lot others who hav seen ur video of TED , or they know you or even millions minds where u r presnet can sense the depth and understanding of your work and you as an individual.You are from my side and my freinds is a form of KRISHNA as ur name ends with krishna.You have shown date human spirit is very strong, and we think your desire is actually god reprensting through you hard.
ReplyDeleteHonestly... if you have to save the world you have to pay for it .... Even to invoke the peoples humanity you have to pay for it... Thing to remember is tat to make big shot to support for a good cause you have to offer him something... not our fault.. even when we pray to god we offer him the bribe if it goes successful .. no wonder we are just the part of the community... To say people to identify their humanity within themselves is not easy . unless and until they are affected by that they will not change. after all every one is selfish. As me i would definitely support you for good cause to save the children... I would call this cause as "Save Children". I promote ur talks on my blog and asking people to read about it and think about it and spread the word and save the kids. Will continue supporting you .. Good Luck
ReplyDeleteWhat do I do to be a volunteer with your organization. Can you give me your contact email ID or if you can point to a website where I can find this information then that will be great. Thank you for what you are doing.
ReplyDeleteRajesh Bothra was born in Mumbai 1968, in Marwari family from a Rajaldesar village in Rajasthan. When he was aged about 16. He decided to quit his further studies, because his ambition was to become an excellent businessman. After quitting his studies he decided to start his business. In Present days his Business is popular by brand name Mercury, which is sold and uses his product Worldwide by common people.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteThis is Deepu from bangalore am cuurently working.can you share the contact details of PRAJWALA Organisation.i want to work personaaly as a vvolunteer and give my best to it.
thanks
No need of a formal nobal prize for you but you already received from the heart of good people. Wishyou all success.
ReplyDelete