Friday, December 11, 2009

My journey in healing

There was a time in my life when I used to think if I meet God on the road, I may just kill him/her with my bare hands.
Witnessing the lives of hundreds of children who for no fault of theirs die untimely death…or struggle to fight a valiant battle against both internal and external demons just because some man or woman has destroyed everything that is precious about them -their “innocence” I had a overwhelming sense of betrayal and anger.
But as I got more and more involved in the lives of these children I realized this attitude of mine may have the most detrimental impact. So long as I concentrate on the pain and trauma I might miss out on their power and resilience. It was important for me to work on the immense potential of human minds to tide over adverse situations and emerge as positive persons who are capable of loving and sharing.
And thereon every child I met, who has been violated and abused I made sure the child understood that he/she is the one who is wronged and being a victim is not something one should be ashamed of. As the anger, pain, outrage and unbearable sense of betrayal poured out, the child was cleared of a burden of a lifetime. Through unconditional love, empathy and acceptance the child was able to see the beautiful person within. As we took the journey together the child was able to slowly regain dignity and a spirit to conquer all odds.
In that journey I also realized that God is not somebody I might meet on the road…he/she is everywhere, in me, around me and with me. And then I started feeling the God experience in this journey which not only touched the fragile soul of the child but also my angry soul.

45 comments:

  1. Sunitha ,

    Please tell how i can help ? ( Iam bangalore based )

    Regards
    Sashank

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  2. Your thoughts are so beautiful...I offer my pen to your work. Please let me know if I may help by way of writing as this is my skill. I will do all the work you ask of this pen.

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  3. Sunitha,

    You are the manifestation of that aspect of God that heals, just as the monsters who abuse the children you meet are the manifestation of that aspect of God that destroys

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  4. beautiful sunita, it indeed takes tremendous courage to answer your call!

    -julie

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  5. Hi Sunitha,

    I am happy you are healed,but I have a personal incident to share with you.I was abused when I was a kid/rather in my teens by my uncle.Coming from a traditional family,I never dared to even say this to my parents(my uncle was psychopathic in nature and was on drugs)--It was an unfortunate incident and I had no clue why it happened.10yrs later on,I still fight with the guilt which arised from the fact that I didnot raise my voice,the anger that I should hav killed him then and there,the lack of courage in that situation.
    I don't talk to him now and I am trying my level best to concentrate on my life as such.However,this thing comes up,now and then--and majorly the insecured feeling when I am low,the horrible nightmares which are impossible to cope up with..one hell of a life for a day/two.

    I am considered to be a daring lady etc--or so everyone thinks--but I have no courage in this issue--which,is the reason I didn't mail you--for fear of revealing my mail id:(

    I know how prevalent incest/other rape incidents are,in Indian households--disguised in the name of joint families/extended relations.
    But I want to work my way out of this feeling and erase that faint,distinct memory.Are there any suggestions?

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  6. Dear Friend,
    Personal healing can come in only if we take responsibility to take it out of our system. My suggestion is go somewhere to a quiet place and talk to yourself loudly about what happened...shout,scream your anger and pain out...believe me it relieves you out of a lot of nightmares.
    Sunitha

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  7. sunitha

    thought i'll offer my support in any way possible...but before that,i have to say this i did watch your video of speech in ted.com
    there you talk of civil society's apathy...and their way of not being sensitive to the issue/problem,and you mentioned how rehablitation of some of the victims have happened....the crux of the problem is voilence ,you seem to say....no...i feel the crux of the problem is thoughts of voilence...thats where you may need to focus
    our movies depicts such voilence,and rape scenes are engrossing to the mass of men who have no idea of sexuality...or sensulatily

    god has nothing to do with this...as blaming him is plainly saying iam stupyfied/stuck/i have met my match...the option you are doing is "action"...thats always the only way out...always

    healing a whole society out of voilence is the actual challenge...love's enemy is not hate,but "fear",all of those whom you helped have faced this fear and have overcome it,so have you...if you want the society as a whole to face their fears...then we need a paradigm change on the aspect of "how we love love ourself"

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  8. hi sunitha,
    congratulations on your commendable work against human trafficking. also the TED talk was inspiring. Your website says you want to stop women entering into prostitution which is my bone of contention here. what are your thoughts about organized prostitution like in netherland. Dont you think that instead of distancing ourselves from truth that prostitution is an age old profession existing for centuries now, we should acknowledge the facts and try to organize this industry which in my opinion may result in drop of women trafficking and rape? would appreciate a response

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  9. @Abhishek:
    Hii!!Just in case that you didnot know,there is a huge debate on the issue that you have raised..find it just below Sunitha's talk on ted..you might find the responses/thoughts expressed interesting.

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  10. u know how we, the common people are? our conscience is not dead. we feel the pinch when we read about an act of evil.our hearts wrench out in pain on lerning about stories such as those of trafficking. it sometimes takes many days to 'move over'.

    and dats the problem, we 'move over'. unless it happens to someone very near or dear, we get lost in the daily errands and our own personal lives. this doesn't mean we don't give a damn.

    but its also true that if we aren't a part of the solution, we are a part of the problem. we cant afford to remain dumb anymore.

    the girls u mentioned do not need compassion or pity. they need future action to be taken so that it does not repeat woth some other innocent child destroying her for life.

    the least i can contribute right now, as u said, is by spreading the word around and around till it falls onto the ear of someone who has the determination and means to bring about a change.

    here's my blog link
    http://thesleepinginsomniac.blogspot.com/2009/12/ashamed-of-being-man.html

    i've tried my best to create awareness about the same. and i'm pretty sure here at XLRI, everyone will be more than willing to help you in any way possible. just give me a holler and you won't be disappointed.

    by the way but u're doing something that i'm in the process of gathering courage to be able to.

    HATS OFF!

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  11. Very well thought and written, Saw your video on TED.

    A reality bite ! Saddening and provocative. I liked the way you put it in one word..Acceptance. That's one thing we need to be doing..

    But there will always be a case of fraud amongst the genuine victims..how do you identify these

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  12. Hi sunitha, saw ur talk on TED and was moved. There are some things i couldn't quite digest. Seeing the violence inflicted on these young girls and some of them are 3-4, i couldn't help but wonder that the people hurting them must be mentally disturbed and might need treatment.How on earth can someone do something like what u said on the talk to anyone, let alone a young kid? How do we address that which is essentially the cause of the problem?

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  13. hi sunitha - really appreciate all your work, we are a small NGO and would like to help your org in a small way. let me know how we can help!
    thanks
    mouly
    for mughil.org

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  14. Hi Sunitha,

    I am based in Singapore. Am happy to contribute financially to the extent which I can but also as a form of acceptance not sure how I can help rehabilate the ladies. If there are ladies who are educated ie can read and write English maybe there is a possibility of having them do domestic work in Singapore once they can get a passport. There are many domestic helpers in Singapore from countries like India, Philippines and Indonesia. They earn aroun 9 to 10K a month for starts. But all expenses of food and lodging will be with the employer. just a thought.
    Regards,
    Amala

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  15. Dear Amala
    Thank you so much. Appreciate your support. Do write to me on my mail id sunitha_2002@yahoo.com and lets work it out how we can take it further.

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  16. hi sunith,
    m lost with words, u r doing a wonderful job, i am a student , i would like to work in anyway possible towards this noble cause. i will definitely contribute in any possible way when once i get a job. Rehabilating the children is one of the prime task . ill work in any possible way towards this.
    Hats off to you .

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  17. Dear Ms Krishnan, I saw your TED talk on You Tube and followed the link to this blog. I want to salute your courage, conviction and efforts. May your tribe increase.

    I am based in Mumbai. Is there any organisation in Mumbai/Thane you can suggest where I can contribute my bit, in terms of time and effort, rather than money, towards helping the rescued children?

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  18. Hey Sunitha,

    I've just posted your TED Talk on www.amazingwomenrock.com and of course had a tremendous response. Keep up the good work and let's hope you will soon be out of a job. People around the world are praying for you and the children. But more important, you have galvanised many into action - bravo!

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  19. Dear Sunita,

    Have been moved by your speech in Tedtalk. Inspired to write about you in my blog too. Will send you an email when I get yours. Mine is subhendu.infosys@gmail.com

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  20. http://sunitha-krishnan.blogspot.com
    Dear Sunitha, I created a blog with your Video. And I have requested the viewers of my old blog to view the video. Thank you so much for showing me light of the day. there are so many things we can do for the world and I was getting messed up in my own small problems!! Thankful to you.

    Subhendu

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  21. Hi,

    Rashmi(Bangalore) here. We were the team that dubbed the Shortfilm ANAMIKA into kannada. I was interested in taking the movie to various schools in villages around the Bangalore. I saw your speech on ted, I felt couple of those shots of abuse needed to be added to ANAMIKA, so that the girls from village who runaway to city knows what awaits them in city. Those were powerful visuals. what di you think of this? write to me.
    My mail ID gandakirashmi@rediffmail.com

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  22. Bravo! Sunitha. It is your human spirit that turned your justified anger and disdain into a positive force for healing, compassion and courage. Having been social worker myself over 35+ yrs with an int. orgn. I am convinced we need more & more Suniths in this country. Though my current physical situation does not allow the same old tenacity and strength for field work I'm determined to make 2% of income for good social cause impacting the life of children and women. Also, we have a blogsite for retirees like me thru which we can spread awareness, concern for fellow beings. God bless you with health, strength and determination to make a difference.
    vmuthuswami@gmail.com

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  23. HI Sunitha,
    I am very pleased to know that there are people like you who live for others...You have influenced me. Thank you.

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  24. Dear Sunitha...
    Recently i saw ur video in Ted..Your thoughts are awesome....

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  25. I am very very greatfull to you for saving these Second Sex Slaves from the Clutches of harrassing fellow human beings. I saw your video on TED. I had been writing about Sexual Harassment on Women through Poetry in my blog..let me know how I could join hands with you.

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  26. Dear Sunitha,
    Have just seen your video on TED. What you are doing is amazing. But I am sure you will agree that there is a lot more that needs to be done, many more people need to be awakened and need to be actively engaged in reducing trafficking as well as supporting the victims. Right now am only spreading the word (through your video) but you have my fullest support.
    Raja

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  27. Dear Sunitha,

    I saw your video on TED and went through many of your blog posts, the work you're doing is absolutely commendable, true that we need many more people like you today (passively admitting my guilt in calling you a saviour when I am not doing my own part that I am capable of even as a student). Will do the least that you've asked your viewers to do(Can you speak to atleast two people...). And the mere mention of "We are living among....they're our brothers, fathers,... struck me like a sledgehammer. It's the truth and it's saddening, to say the least of pathetic or disgusting or inhuman. Keep up the good work lady, my best wishes to you and may the gods I never believed in give you a long lifespan and the energy to make true all the dreams of this lifetime.

    P.S. Today isn't the day, I'm merely a degree student now but a day shall come when I'm gonna meet you and offer my hand in rowing the boat.

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  28. Dear Sunitha,
    After hearing what you had gone thru and your facts on the child abuse i could not breathe for awhile!

    These victims surely belong to our world and not the offenders(cant even call them beasts bec even animals dont behave like that!

    May be legalising prostitution is fine , but rules to safeguard the commercial worker must be in place too. Ofcourse no one aught to be forced into such trade, however anybody who rapes people and molests kids need to be immediately punished severely!


    GOD bless you for everything!

    medha

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  29. I saw your TED video just recently, and was very moved. GBU!

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  30. HI SUNITHA...FIRST OF ALL LET ME EXTEND MY SINCEREST GRATITUDE FOR THE EYE OPENING SPEECH U GAVE IN TED....IT WAS REALLY SICKENING AND SAD TO HEAR ABOUT THE 3 AND FOUR YEAR OLDS...I HAVE A 3YEAR OLD DAUGHTER MYSELF, AND I KNOW THE FEAR AND TERROR OF EVEN THE THOUGHT OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENING TO HER...WE LIVE IN A VERY HYPOCRITICAL SOCIETY WHERE IT IS THE NORM TO SHAKE HANDS WITH SAME PERSON U KNOW IS EITHER A PAEDOPHILE OR A RAPIST OF THE WORST SORT...NOONE SPEAKS OUT, NOONE DARES TALK OF THESE ISSUES,N OONE COMES FORWARD TO HELP...IN THIS SCENARIO U COME OUT AND HAVE THE COURAGE TO DO ALL THE ABOVE AND SET AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT AS WOMEN WE SHOULD DO...BRAVO!!!

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  31. Sunitha,

    I have no words to describe ur work. Lot of us have no courage to speak against these atrocities done to girls/women.
    As I read ur blog, tears rolled down many a times...uncontrollable emotions.
    I don't want to write too many lines here, but I will sure render my helping hand sometime very soon.

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  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  33. Sunitha Garu,
    You are doing very great job..

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  34. Dearest Sunitha Devi...

    May God give u so much strenght and be with you all the time...
    May you bring 100% light to those:))
    Prayers...

    I have never heard of these... then I'm so thankful for what I have... mom dad brothers... husband... all heavon for me:))

    I'm sending u so much love .

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  35. You are such an inspiration.

    They say God is not an object of knowledge, he is knowledge itself. -- Satyam Jnaanam Anantam Brahma. So, it is unlikely that we will ever meet Him as a seperate entity on the road.

    However, -- Eesvara Sarva Bhootaanaam : God as the indweller of all beings. So, in a way, we do meet Him everyday.

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  36. Dear Sunitha, The first time I heard you was on TED. I was moved. But just being moved doesn't help. This is one of the many issues & probably the gravest of all however unless messages can be spread across, the healing will not come nor would the acceptance. I would like you to write about these issues thru a page on my site so that atleast all those who visit my page would be able to spread the message across to many more. From time to time, I do share about your efforts with all. Shortly I am planning an initiative only for our own fellow countrymen like these so that they can get adequate acceptance & respect in the society. They don't have to earn it. They are already respectable, it is just that we need to uncover the masks of various people who, even knowingly, just shy away to accpet this fact & still live in their own made castles without realizing that this is manmade & can happen to anyone.

    My site is: http://www.uttishthabharat.com/

    regards & lots of love to all people for whom you have dedicated your life

    Uttishtha Bharat

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  37. Sunitha - Your story is inspiring and unlike most people, I wont just sit and listen to this and not do anything to help. Please email me at rosyseb1@hotmail.com and let me know how I can help this cause.

    Thank you and God bless you for this wonderful work. Rosy

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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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