Wednesday, March 13, 2013
MARCH 8TH… A FASHIONABLE STATEMENT!
For the last few days I am receiving hundreds of calls/mails requesting my gracious presence for International Women’s Day. There is a sudden radical spurt in activities in organizing women’s programs. And of course ‘so called’ inspirational women like me are in great demand. Some of the calls came through this morning ie 7th March….and I was wondering whether I was part of a back up plan, inspiration1-not available….Insp2-not available….Insp3- Not available….so okay lets try Insp10!!!
What is Women’s Day for all these people? Is it a day when we remember lost souls…or a day to honor so called women leaders…or a day to remind us all about gender-related crimes/violence…or day to look back on how we have progressed…or a day to acknowledge women are still part of humanity..or a day to organize an event. Having done that for one day…for the next 365 days you can forget half the humanity…continue the violence…the discrimination…the violations….and marginalization in our minds and souls.
Across the world, year after year International Women’s Day is CELEBRATED!...and across the world young ones as young as 3yrs old are raped and sold…interestingly year after year the numbers are only increasing….Two days back a little one who was sleeping with her mother on the footpath in Kerala, was dragged away…raped and thrown….on valentine’s day when one billion people rose to protest sexual violence….three little ones…all sisters 6yr, 8yrs and 11yrs were raped and murdered in Bhandara, Maharshtra…during the same time a 7yr old was raped in Municipal School in the national Capital New Delhi.
In many African countries, rape is used as a weapon of war…in many others genital mutilation is followed…young activist are gunned at close range for they chose to speak for girl child education…every country in the world can boast about the increasing gender-based violence in their communities…
I wonder where is the change?
Can things change because of events/TV shows or programs on a particular day? Can things change because we went and lit a candle?
Can things change because we acknowledged a powerful woman?
Can things change because we participated in a public event?
To me “NO”…nothing can change for women and children till it is symbolic gesture…nothing can change if we consider it as women’s rights…nothing can change till our basic attitude and perception does not undergo sea change.
It is gives me great amusement whenever there is a national uproar about sexual violence, I get thousands of mails/calls asking “what can I do”? That is the attitude I am talking about…so long as you think it happens to them and not us…you will keep asking what to do? The day each one of us realize that this can happen to anyone including us…or to somebody dear to us, then each one of us will know what to do…
I feel this question is asked so that one can actually avoid doing anything and yet not feel guilty(you will keep quite till somebody tells/guides you on what to do, will that be the same attitude if somebody dear to you is violated). If one wants to respond…there is no need for anybody’s guidance…
For me until and unless women’s right’s is not accepted as basic human rights nothing can change. And then the fight is not just for a few women to come together…but for every person who is human. It is not about a few hundred women coming together on Women’s Day(while all the men go about doing their work!!!). The fight is not just for a day…but it for 365 days till these basic human rights are realized. The fight is not about women…it also about men…how can half the humanity survive if the other half is mutilated and violated.
Tomorrow as we observe Women’s Day…I hope we will remember people like Irom Sharmila who are consistently fighting without a break for the last 4380 days(12yrs)….and all the activists fighting a spectrum of issues across the world for whom every day is a day to fight for human rights...thanking them for their perseverance…thanking them for having faith in change.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
THE PAIN…THE ANGER…THE OUTRAGE CONTINUES
Yesterday was a bizarre day for me…practically every national and regional channel wanted to speak to this “brave rape survivor” who is now an activist. Everybody wanted an opinion about what I felt about the Delhi gang rape…
Why this national outrage? Is it because it happened in the national capital “Delhi” or it happened in a bus or because it happened to an educated middle class girl!
I was in Kerala the last few days for the promotion of my movie “Ente” on sex trafficking and in a brief period of 6 days there were already 12 major rape cases reported including a child of 5yrs. Why no outrage? Is it that if you need complete attention on a particular issue , you have to be in the right place…at the right time…with the right persons. I am not sure what pushes people to revolt from across the country…when sexual violence is being reported everyday in every city…every town. Violation is a violation wherever it happens.
My frustration was also on the sudden great interest in all the rape survivors…lets hound them…Did anybody make a single attempt to hound all the reported rapists in the country? Asking them why do they do this? What is this unquenchable libido of a man that needs to be satisfied with violence and coercion. And if all these are sick men then why are we not fighting tooth and nail to get them treated. Why the great slogan for a “death sentence”…so that more and more “sick men” can live on the tax-payers money as state guests. For even if he is awarded the death sentence…after appeal to the High Court…then to the Supreme Court…and then with mercy petition to President Of India he enjoys a relatively hassle free life in the central jail after conviction for many years!!! Is this the so-called deterrence that we are fighting for.
Today what we need is outrage at every local level for every case that is reported, making the lives of the perpetrators so miserable that they cannot walk in any public place without fear or shame. By focusing on the victims we are cornering them to “prying visibility” forcing them to hide their faces or run away with shame.
Today was another day of pain and frustration. Another girl in my shelter died of AIDS. As a matter of coincidence the death happened in my shelter and not in a hospital. By default it became a medico-legal case. Since the girl was handed to us by the court, the police in their holier than thou tone wanted the post-mortem to be done in-spite of the doctors stating no such thing is done on HIV positive persons. Once again there is media all around us with the brokers, traffickers and the parents of the girl. This time around whether I killed the girl…whether there was abuse in the home…why she died in the home…and what not…Interestingly all of them including the family disappeared as soon as the doctors declared it was a AIDS death.
The outrage that we exhibit when a girl is gang-raped is not to be seen for the millions of women and children who are raped everyday for years in all the brothels across in the country. We conveniently close our eyes regarding that by calling it “sex work”…sadly even the Apex Court seems to be in the same vicious trap. We do not see the irreversible damage…we do not see the depths of pain and trauma which forces a person to normalize an existence of exploitation, choosing to live in hell rather face the continues social exclusion and marginalization. We see it only when media takes it as a issue!!! Then across the country there is protests…candle light vigils…
Victims of sexual violence anywhere, in any part of the world require our compassion, care and a space for healing
My fear is whether all this outrage will pass of…not just for the media but for all us when the next story comes in... I am suitably amused by the number of comments on the facebook, tweets etc on how everybody is feeling guilty and ashamed. The time is not for guilt and shame…the time is for action.
Can we all join hands to form the largest movement of real men that will engage with men to sensitize…transform…reform…treat…so that they do not turn as perpetrators of crime. It could be as an eve teaser…molester…abuser…rapist. Can we engage with men so that do not become ‘buyers of sex’…because as buyers they rape… for the girl who is being bought for sex has absolutely no bargaining power on the needs of the man who is buying her.
Is this such a tough proposition… we do not need to go searching for men…they are all around us…our fathers, brothers, boyfriends,husbands,uncles…We can start now within our own families
Thursday, March 15, 2012
A life lost...a painful tribute
When I think of Shaheda, I remember a bright and bubbly child who would run and hug me close. She was 9 yrs old when her maternal uncle sold her. The mother who was also into prostitution was a mute spectator. We got the information a tad too late, but we rushed and rescued her. On a precaution we also rescued her younger sister Sahera as we thought she could be the next target.Out of fear that we may book a case if they protested the mother and uncle kept quite. In those days we were not too particular about booking a case mostly because we did not work closely with police then and felt it was just enough that we saved the children. Also our main informers were women in prostitution and they were not at all comfortable giving any information to the police.
What was very striking about Shaheda was her extraordinary resilience, the moment she reached the safety of our shelter she was a new person. Her own efforts to overcome her pain and trauma was for me a great inspiration. I do not remember spending too much time counseling her apart from the first three or four sessions. Then she became a role model for all other victimized children. Her interest to excel in all activities both curricular and extra-curricular made her a high achiever. In the meantime we saw change in the mother who slowly gave up prostitution and started a new life. For 7 yrs Shaheda lived in our shelter. After she finished her X std I asked her whether she wanted to go back to her mother. Shaheda and Sahera both felt the need to go back to their mother. We let them go with a undertaking from the mother that she will ensure that the children's education will not be discontinued. In the first two years we regularly monitored their welfare. After that we lost touch.
Yesterday evening I got a call that Shaheda died. I was numbed to silence. The worst was to know that she was dumped before a dargah and that is where she breathed her last, day before yesterday night. Shahida was positive due to the sexual violation she was subjected to, but throughout the 7yrs that she was with us she was like any normal child. 3 yrs after she left our shelter slowly opportunistic infections crept in. The mother refused to take her to a hospital fearing social repercussion, instead took her to one dargah after another. Finally three weeks back when matter worsened she just dumped the girl before a dargah and left. My little Shaheda was just 19 yrs old...she was lying before a dargah as a destitute, seeking alms...can there be a more painful and inhuman death?
Today I am filled with guilt and pain. Was I right in sending this child back to her mother? Should I have taken care knowing her HIV status. They say institutional care is the last option and community based care should be the first option. But if the communities around us are no more safe for our children where do we send them? Should I have created a longer follow up plan...if so for how long should we have followed up? As civil society organizations do we have the wherewithal to sustain long term follow up plans...I kept asking the mother why she did not abandon the child with me, I could have taken care?
As I struggle with all these questions...Shahida's face haunts me...did she deserve such a death?
What was very striking about Shaheda was her extraordinary resilience, the moment she reached the safety of our shelter she was a new person. Her own efforts to overcome her pain and trauma was for me a great inspiration. I do not remember spending too much time counseling her apart from the first three or four sessions. Then she became a role model for all other victimized children. Her interest to excel in all activities both curricular and extra-curricular made her a high achiever. In the meantime we saw change in the mother who slowly gave up prostitution and started a new life. For 7 yrs Shaheda lived in our shelter. After she finished her X std I asked her whether she wanted to go back to her mother. Shaheda and Sahera both felt the need to go back to their mother. We let them go with a undertaking from the mother that she will ensure that the children's education will not be discontinued. In the first two years we regularly monitored their welfare. After that we lost touch.
Yesterday evening I got a call that Shaheda died. I was numbed to silence. The worst was to know that she was dumped before a dargah and that is where she breathed her last, day before yesterday night. Shahida was positive due to the sexual violation she was subjected to, but throughout the 7yrs that she was with us she was like any normal child. 3 yrs after she left our shelter slowly opportunistic infections crept in. The mother refused to take her to a hospital fearing social repercussion, instead took her to one dargah after another. Finally three weeks back when matter worsened she just dumped the girl before a dargah and left. My little Shaheda was just 19 yrs old...she was lying before a dargah as a destitute, seeking alms...can there be a more painful and inhuman death?
Today I am filled with guilt and pain. Was I right in sending this child back to her mother? Should I have taken care knowing her HIV status. They say institutional care is the last option and community based care should be the first option. But if the communities around us are no more safe for our children where do we send them? Should I have created a longer follow up plan...if so for how long should we have followed up? As civil society organizations do we have the wherewithal to sustain long term follow up plans...I kept asking the mother why she did not abandon the child with me, I could have taken care?
As I struggle with all these questions...Shahida's face haunts me...did she deserve such a death?
Saturday, September 10, 2011
My Swedish experience...
It was always a dream of mine to visit Sweden. Many reasons of course, a minor one being a nobel prize (not yet sure in which category, when in middle school it was maths, in high school chemistry…in college environment…now it is between peace and literature!!!). Well fantasy apart the anti demand legislation was my greatest attraction. The Swedish model to address sex buyers is one of its own kind in the world and I wanted to understand it firsthand. So when Bonnier Media University invited me for GRID 2011, I was on top of the world. Finally I was going to Stockholm.
For those of you who have never heard of GRID, this is an annual meet for a selected group of Bonnier employees worldwide. The conference brings also handpicked speakers from diverse fields to make a TED like (18mins) presentation. This time I was one of the 12 speakers.
Sweden is a beautiful place and for the most unknown reason I instantly felt very comfortable( there are many countries I feel not so very comfortable too).
But the greatest highlight of my visit was to meet senior police officers to understand the anti demand legislation. Meeting officer Kajza and Officer Simon was an eye opener of a different kind. In Sweden the legislation has criminalized buying sex. Any man or woman who buys sex is arrested and prosecuted. The officers are trained for intensive surveillance. It becomes very important to catch the buyer in the act itself so that the officer can be a witness also in the court and there is no scope for acquittal.
In Sweden there is prostitution and sex trafficking. Most girls trafficked to Sweden are from Baltic countries. In most sex trafficking cases the victim girls are also witnesses and are provided safe shelter through the Social Service Department. What is incredible is that in a year’s time the cases are completed. The compensation is a sizeable amount and ensures that victim can be reintegrated back to society comfortably. The prostitution cases of course has mostly the officers as the witness.
The specialized prostitution unit has dedicated officers who have extraordinary commitment. It was very interesting to note that Officers worked with a lot of autonomy and freedom. Once appointed in a particular unit there was absolutely no transfer until the officer himself or herself does not request for it.No officer was transferred for taking up controversial cases. In fact a minister and prominent business-man were also arrested. In India this would have definitely ended with the officer transferred to some remote area…Timbuctoo etc!
What struck me is the political and public will to address the problem. In ten years since the legislation has come into existence street prostitution has reduced by 70% and sex trafficking by 50%. It was very impressive.
Of course I had a lot of concerns. What happens to the women/girls after the buyers are arrested? I strongly felt just addressing the demand is an incomplete solution. Providing support to women/girls for a safe exit from prostitution as a supply-focused intervention was as important as addressing demand. Maybe in the form of protection services and economic opportunities.
For all of we know the woman/girl may shift to Belgium or Germany to prostitute as she does not find buyers here. If just addressing demand can get such great results just imagine if both ends are addressed what a fool proof impact it will have.
It was truly an enriching experience to learn this model. I wonder how much we can replicate this in India with all the vested interests and poor political will.
The rest of the trip was filled with meeting some very beautiful people. I am not sure how much I gave in GRID but I definitely know that I gained a lot. Renewed energy…better focus and some new direction…
For those of you who have never heard of GRID, this is an annual meet for a selected group of Bonnier employees worldwide. The conference brings also handpicked speakers from diverse fields to make a TED like (18mins) presentation. This time I was one of the 12 speakers.
Sweden is a beautiful place and for the most unknown reason I instantly felt very comfortable( there are many countries I feel not so very comfortable too).
But the greatest highlight of my visit was to meet senior police officers to understand the anti demand legislation. Meeting officer Kajza and Officer Simon was an eye opener of a different kind. In Sweden the legislation has criminalized buying sex. Any man or woman who buys sex is arrested and prosecuted. The officers are trained for intensive surveillance. It becomes very important to catch the buyer in the act itself so that the officer can be a witness also in the court and there is no scope for acquittal.
In Sweden there is prostitution and sex trafficking. Most girls trafficked to Sweden are from Baltic countries. In most sex trafficking cases the victim girls are also witnesses and are provided safe shelter through the Social Service Department. What is incredible is that in a year’s time the cases are completed. The compensation is a sizeable amount and ensures that victim can be reintegrated back to society comfortably. The prostitution cases of course has mostly the officers as the witness.
The specialized prostitution unit has dedicated officers who have extraordinary commitment. It was very interesting to note that Officers worked with a lot of autonomy and freedom. Once appointed in a particular unit there was absolutely no transfer until the officer himself or herself does not request for it.No officer was transferred for taking up controversial cases. In fact a minister and prominent business-man were also arrested. In India this would have definitely ended with the officer transferred to some remote area…Timbuctoo etc!
What struck me is the political and public will to address the problem. In ten years since the legislation has come into existence street prostitution has reduced by 70% and sex trafficking by 50%. It was very impressive.
Of course I had a lot of concerns. What happens to the women/girls after the buyers are arrested? I strongly felt just addressing the demand is an incomplete solution. Providing support to women/girls for a safe exit from prostitution as a supply-focused intervention was as important as addressing demand. Maybe in the form of protection services and economic opportunities.
For all of we know the woman/girl may shift to Belgium or Germany to prostitute as she does not find buyers here. If just addressing demand can get such great results just imagine if both ends are addressed what a fool proof impact it will have.
It was truly an enriching experience to learn this model. I wonder how much we can replicate this in India with all the vested interests and poor political will.
The rest of the trip was filled with meeting some very beautiful people. I am not sure how much I gave in GRID but I definitely know that I gained a lot. Renewed energy…better focus and some new direction…
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
DEMONS IN GODS OWN COUNTRY
“That man put his thing from where urine comes into my mouth…when I vomited he slapped me and then he pushed it from my back…and then I started bleeding…in pain when I started crying he tied me with a electric wire and banged my head…and then I got scared that he will put that thing again in my mouth and kill me…so I did not cry out loudly…”
These were the words of a 7yr old sex trafficked victim whom I met in Kerala. I listened to this with pain and dread. For some unknown reason the child had developed a fancy for me and was disclosing to me everything in her baby voice which till date she has not even told the police.
I met many other children all below the age of 14yrs trafficked for commercial sexual exploitation and rescued. What was common in all their stories was a father who raped at the age of 4yrs or a brother who molested or an uncle who forced to have oral sex. Incest and dysfunctional families was the common background all these children came from. These children had no scope to escape as they had no information or access to any other support system beside their own families.
What happens when the most safe space for a child becomes a zone of fear, threat and suffocation? What happens when deepest bonds of faith and trust is misused and exploited? Where should this child go?
One of the child I met told me that her parents had left her with her maternal parents from the time she was born. Most of her childhood was an eternal wait…for her parent’s occasional visit. She always believed that if her parents took her back she will also be like any normal child. Finally when she was 12yrs old her parents took her back. The first year of stay with her parents was sheer nightmare as the father would beat up the mother and daughter to vent out his anger and frustration( he was jobless). The next year saw another side of the father…a man so affectionate and loving that the child forgot and forgave all the torture. Little did she realize that he was bartering her to highest bidder. With silent connivance of the mother(who was only concerned about her own safety and security), the father sold his own daughter for prostitution. The worst part of the story he was the pimp and stood outside the room every time the daughter was send with a customer.
Where does a child who is in this kind of a situation go? The family is unsafe…no relatives or friends would like to take responsibility…and the civil society or the state have no system of protection services that is accessible.
A glance around me…revealed civil society organizations gearing up to organize protest march…conventions and generally making a lot of visibility in the media…the state trying to find the accused…the opposition trying to find fault with everything that the state is doing…But NOT even a single person were thinking what do these children need?
Interactions with the general public was even more scary…most of them were convinced that the 7yr old, 10 yr old and the 14yr old were all immoral persons with loose character and were just making up all these stories to gain attention.
It is such a irony when a person in prostitution Nalini Jameela wrote her story…the world had only eyes and ears for her…chat shows…column after column were written…so much so that the world was glorifying her life in commercial sexual exploitation…but today when these children’s stories are part of everyday news…nobody is thinking how can we prevent this? How can we protect these children?
I have been asked a million times “will you start a branch in Kerala”…my question is do I have to? Can you not be that person who can also reach out…is it not our collective responsibility make this world safe of our children!
These were the words of a 7yr old sex trafficked victim whom I met in Kerala. I listened to this with pain and dread. For some unknown reason the child had developed a fancy for me and was disclosing to me everything in her baby voice which till date she has not even told the police.
I met many other children all below the age of 14yrs trafficked for commercial sexual exploitation and rescued. What was common in all their stories was a father who raped at the age of 4yrs or a brother who molested or an uncle who forced to have oral sex. Incest and dysfunctional families was the common background all these children came from. These children had no scope to escape as they had no information or access to any other support system beside their own families.
What happens when the most safe space for a child becomes a zone of fear, threat and suffocation? What happens when deepest bonds of faith and trust is misused and exploited? Where should this child go?
One of the child I met told me that her parents had left her with her maternal parents from the time she was born. Most of her childhood was an eternal wait…for her parent’s occasional visit. She always believed that if her parents took her back she will also be like any normal child. Finally when she was 12yrs old her parents took her back. The first year of stay with her parents was sheer nightmare as the father would beat up the mother and daughter to vent out his anger and frustration( he was jobless). The next year saw another side of the father…a man so affectionate and loving that the child forgot and forgave all the torture. Little did she realize that he was bartering her to highest bidder. With silent connivance of the mother(who was only concerned about her own safety and security), the father sold his own daughter for prostitution. The worst part of the story he was the pimp and stood outside the room every time the daughter was send with a customer.
Where does a child who is in this kind of a situation go? The family is unsafe…no relatives or friends would like to take responsibility…and the civil society or the state have no system of protection services that is accessible.
A glance around me…revealed civil society organizations gearing up to organize protest march…conventions and generally making a lot of visibility in the media…the state trying to find the accused…the opposition trying to find fault with everything that the state is doing…But NOT even a single person were thinking what do these children need?
Interactions with the general public was even more scary…most of them were convinced that the 7yr old, 10 yr old and the 14yr old were all immoral persons with loose character and were just making up all these stories to gain attention.
It is such a irony when a person in prostitution Nalini Jameela wrote her story…the world had only eyes and ears for her…chat shows…column after column were written…so much so that the world was glorifying her life in commercial sexual exploitation…but today when these children’s stories are part of everyday news…nobody is thinking how can we prevent this? How can we protect these children?
I have been asked a million times “will you start a branch in Kerala”…my question is do I have to? Can you not be that person who can also reach out…is it not our collective responsibility make this world safe of our children!
Friday, April 22, 2011
INVOLVING MEN TO BE A PART OF THE SOLUTION
I am a blessed person as I have the honor of meeting the worst to the best men in my personal and professional life.
Rescuing thousands of women and children from sexual slavery, I have heard millions of stories of brutality of men. Buying sex from a anonymous person gives so much of freedom and guts to do whatever your sadist minds can fantasize. From pouring chilli powder into the vagina, burning with cigarettes, cigars to tying to a bedpost and whipping anything and everything is possible in paid sex. I always thought in a marriage or in a love relationship a lot of restrain is exercised. Today that too is shaking. The whole of this week I was dealing with a case of "date rape", the young man raped the girl so brutally that her vagina was completely torn(needed stitches to patch it) and she was bleeding profusely. In my own personal life being gang raped by eight men had its own nightmarish impact on my body if not my soul.
On the other hand I have also met the best of the best men on the planet. Starting with my father who was my strength throughout my childhood and as a young adult. He encouraged me to follow my heart never imposing any personal dreams as expectation in spite of the fact that I was his favorite child and had all the qualities to make his dreams come true. In my early twenties I met my mentor and friend Bro Jose who was instrumental in guiding me to establish the proactive intervention 'Prajwala'. Bro Jose was an example to all the victims we rescued that all men are not abusers. And then I met Rajesh my soul mate and husband. A secure man whose greatest happiness is the growth of his wife. Words are inadequate to explain the extraordinary role Rajesh is playing in strengthening my activism and my interventions. One day when I was fed up with the non stop threatening calls I was getting I asked Raj 'if I am killed by these people what will you do?' The answer I got " It will be an honor for me if you are killed while rescuing a child"
After seeing and understanding the best and the worst I am more and more realizing that there is a need to bring all the best together and create a counter movement to reduce or better still eradicate the worst.
My faith was further reinforced and got a new direction with an incident that happened in my recent US trip. After my presentation to a group 200 Indians and Americans I found one gentleman giving me strange stares. After all the participants left I found this man still sitting there. And then reluctantly he came to where I stood. Automatically I stretched my hand for a shake hand and a thank you at the tip of my tongue( that is what I was doing for the better part of one hour). The man held my hand and broke down...I was bewildered and confused.And then softly he said "I have raped a lot children...I went to Combodia and Srilanka for them" I was numbed, no words would come out...how does one react to such a statement. In silence I held his hand...and slowly I told him to seek help. For four days I tossed and turned, my sleep lost with this strange incident. For years I had held only anger and bitterness against all perpetrators and now I have one who is seeking my energy to heal him, what does one do? And then he sent a mail sharing with me how his father started sexually abusing him from the age of 4yrs and how by the time he was 7yrs he started enjoying the abuse and by the age of 15yrs became a powerful person in the household of eight as he was his father's pet. In his adult life he wanted to recreate the same pleasure and that is how he started abusing little kids. His obsession took him to Combodia and to Srilanka where he bought little boys for sex.
This incident transformed me forever, for the first time I realized that maybe working with perpetrators is also a tool for prevention.
On 28th March 2011 we launched Men Against Demand(M.A.D) and today I am hoping that even perpetrators can be sensitized and inspired to join the movement.
For all the wonderful men reading my blog please pledge your support for the movement by signing http://www.facebook.com/pages/Men-Against-Demand/157785290948568, We need your support to fight this battle and more to come.
Rescuing thousands of women and children from sexual slavery, I have heard millions of stories of brutality of men. Buying sex from a anonymous person gives so much of freedom and guts to do whatever your sadist minds can fantasize. From pouring chilli powder into the vagina, burning with cigarettes, cigars to tying to a bedpost and whipping anything and everything is possible in paid sex. I always thought in a marriage or in a love relationship a lot of restrain is exercised. Today that too is shaking. The whole of this week I was dealing with a case of "date rape", the young man raped the girl so brutally that her vagina was completely torn(needed stitches to patch it) and she was bleeding profusely. In my own personal life being gang raped by eight men had its own nightmarish impact on my body if not my soul.
On the other hand I have also met the best of the best men on the planet. Starting with my father who was my strength throughout my childhood and as a young adult. He encouraged me to follow my heart never imposing any personal dreams as expectation in spite of the fact that I was his favorite child and had all the qualities to make his dreams come true. In my early twenties I met my mentor and friend Bro Jose who was instrumental in guiding me to establish the proactive intervention 'Prajwala'. Bro Jose was an example to all the victims we rescued that all men are not abusers. And then I met Rajesh my soul mate and husband. A secure man whose greatest happiness is the growth of his wife. Words are inadequate to explain the extraordinary role Rajesh is playing in strengthening my activism and my interventions. One day when I was fed up with the non stop threatening calls I was getting I asked Raj 'if I am killed by these people what will you do?' The answer I got " It will be an honor for me if you are killed while rescuing a child"
After seeing and understanding the best and the worst I am more and more realizing that there is a need to bring all the best together and create a counter movement to reduce or better still eradicate the worst.
My faith was further reinforced and got a new direction with an incident that happened in my recent US trip. After my presentation to a group 200 Indians and Americans I found one gentleman giving me strange stares. After all the participants left I found this man still sitting there. And then reluctantly he came to where I stood. Automatically I stretched my hand for a shake hand and a thank you at the tip of my tongue( that is what I was doing for the better part of one hour). The man held my hand and broke down...I was bewildered and confused.And then softly he said "I have raped a lot children...I went to Combodia and Srilanka for them" I was numbed, no words would come out...how does one react to such a statement. In silence I held his hand...and slowly I told him to seek help. For four days I tossed and turned, my sleep lost with this strange incident. For years I had held only anger and bitterness against all perpetrators and now I have one who is seeking my energy to heal him, what does one do? And then he sent a mail sharing with me how his father started sexually abusing him from the age of 4yrs and how by the time he was 7yrs he started enjoying the abuse and by the age of 15yrs became a powerful person in the household of eight as he was his father's pet. In his adult life he wanted to recreate the same pleasure and that is how he started abusing little kids. His obsession took him to Combodia and to Srilanka where he bought little boys for sex.
This incident transformed me forever, for the first time I realized that maybe working with perpetrators is also a tool for prevention.
On 28th March 2011 we launched Men Against Demand(M.A.D) and today I am hoping that even perpetrators can be sensitized and inspired to join the movement.
For all the wonderful men reading my blog please pledge your support for the movement by signing http://www.facebook.com/pages/Men-Against-Demand/157785290948568, We need your support to fight this battle and more to come.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Prajwala on Facebook
As an organization, we want to thank those of you who have begun the discussion about Prajwala and the flesh trade on facebook. We appreciate your continued efforts as they truly make a difference.
To enhance your current efforts, please also "like" the official Prajwala fanpage on facebook found here.
Our dream is that the fan page will be a platform to hold discussions, share ideas, provide updates, and connect thousands of anti-trafficking crusaders from around the world.
Please join us and thank you for your support.
To enhance your current efforts, please also "like" the official Prajwala fanpage on facebook found here.
Our dream is that the fan page will be a platform to hold discussions, share ideas, provide updates, and connect thousands of anti-trafficking crusaders from around the world.
Please join us and thank you for your support.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Financial Sustainability for organizations like mine-Is it possible?
One thing that has not changed in the last two decades of my mission is my "begging bowl". Way back in 1995 I used go around begging for a few thousands to run my small initiative. Insults, humiliations and rejection were more during those days. I remember once going to a rich businessman who was highly titillated by my mission,kept asking me hundred questions on what customers do to children, gave me a cup of tea and then took out his wallet searched among the 500 and 100 rupee notes, took out a Rs 50 note and gave it to me,and said very solemnly "this is my contribution for your cause, my company does not have a policy right now but if there is one I will surely make a larger contribution"!
In another instance a leading automobile showroom located at Basheerbagh,Hyderabad promised me Rs 10,000/ after making me run around for over a fortnight and then insisted that I sign on a receipt for Rs 40,000/ to actually get Rs 10,000/. Arrogant as I was then( still remain the same) I refused the donation and came back and promptly lost two well wishers who had made the connections.
Today of course the situation has changed I am not running for thousands but for millions. Rarely do I meet people who can rip me apart with their insensitivity, rarely do I have nightmares fearing how am I going to feed my children in my shelter...even more rarely do I break down overwhelmed with frustration "how long should I prove my credibility...how much do I need to damage myself so that the world understands that I am doing all this genuinely"...
But has my begging for support changed? Not at all? It is sometimes even worse than my earlier days. People think that I am extravagant to aim for a safe space for children. Donors, international agencies, supporters have a myriad reasons for cutting off support...it can range from recession to "your cause does not catch my fancy", or better still this cause is now no more our thrust area!!!.
That I continue do what I am doing is considered a demonstration of arrogance rather than commitment. I even had a well wisher telling me if you cannot look after these children, hand them over to the government! All because I went begging for support to construct our buildings.
And finally the million dollar question most donor agency ask" how is your organization going to become sustainable" we cannot be funding you eternally...
True so what should I be doing? Should I make my initiative a profit making unit charging huge interests for the services I am providing like what the Micro Finance Institutions like SKC are doing? Whom should I charge every time I risk my life and my team's to rescue victims? Whom should I charge for taking care of hundreds of child victims of trafficking? Whom should I bill for economically empowering thousands of young survivors of trafficking? Whom should I ask to pay for all the cremations/funerals I have to give to ensure a dignified exit from this world for my children( incidently not a single donor/supporter is willing to donate for a cremation)?
Or should I temporarily forget my main mission and become a actress, or a spiritual leader a mata"something" or maybe a sadhvi"something", or a celebrity chef...(I cannot go further as my talents are limited). It appears a large group of people are willing to donate to one of these more generously...
Today as I am surrounded by multiple financial crises- donor for our children's shelter phasing out, our second generation prevention program donor phasing out, our rescue efforts-no donors at all and biggest of all our construction of shelters which has over-shot the budget by 2 crores as the cost of building construction material( sand,cement,steel etc) has shot up by 250%... I am seriously thinking how does anybody expect us to become financially sustainable.Especially in a context when we are not even sustainable in terms of human resources!!!
It continues to be a great challenge to get people to work with us full time.For ages we are looking for somebody who can do our documentation for donor compliances ( believe me it is not possible to sit far away and do it as it requires a lot more of understanding of the pulse of the work )...or exclusively work on fund raising...or look after the advocacy...or work on marketing... Every time there is a physical attack on the organization the first persons to leave are the 'professionals', most cannot handle the pressure...including the pressure related to working with a person like me.
But I am sure there must be something logical and sensible in this expectation of 'sustainability'...just figuring out how to do it in a world which is slowly shrinking in terms of 'giving'...cutting down and downsizing is for humanitarian work( you will understand what I am saying if you see the budgets allocated for social sector)...but financial investments for war...ammunition...terrorism...marriages...scams(2G, CWG, IPL)...even auctioning for cricketers continues to grow with electrifying speed...
And fools like me continue to beg for constructing a safe shelter for victimized human beings...
In another instance a leading automobile showroom located at Basheerbagh,Hyderabad promised me Rs 10,000/ after making me run around for over a fortnight and then insisted that I sign on a receipt for Rs 40,000/ to actually get Rs 10,000/. Arrogant as I was then( still remain the same) I refused the donation and came back and promptly lost two well wishers who had made the connections.
Today of course the situation has changed I am not running for thousands but for millions. Rarely do I meet people who can rip me apart with their insensitivity, rarely do I have nightmares fearing how am I going to feed my children in my shelter...even more rarely do I break down overwhelmed with frustration "how long should I prove my credibility...how much do I need to damage myself so that the world understands that I am doing all this genuinely"...
But has my begging for support changed? Not at all? It is sometimes even worse than my earlier days. People think that I am extravagant to aim for a safe space for children. Donors, international agencies, supporters have a myriad reasons for cutting off support...it can range from recession to "your cause does not catch my fancy", or better still this cause is now no more our thrust area!!!.
That I continue do what I am doing is considered a demonstration of arrogance rather than commitment. I even had a well wisher telling me if you cannot look after these children, hand them over to the government! All because I went begging for support to construct our buildings.
And finally the million dollar question most donor agency ask" how is your organization going to become sustainable" we cannot be funding you eternally...
True so what should I be doing? Should I make my initiative a profit making unit charging huge interests for the services I am providing like what the Micro Finance Institutions like SKC are doing? Whom should I charge every time I risk my life and my team's to rescue victims? Whom should I charge for taking care of hundreds of child victims of trafficking? Whom should I bill for economically empowering thousands of young survivors of trafficking? Whom should I ask to pay for all the cremations/funerals I have to give to ensure a dignified exit from this world for my children( incidently not a single donor/supporter is willing to donate for a cremation)?
Or should I temporarily forget my main mission and become a actress, or a spiritual leader a mata"something" or maybe a sadhvi"something", or a celebrity chef...(I cannot go further as my talents are limited). It appears a large group of people are willing to donate to one of these more generously...
Today as I am surrounded by multiple financial crises- donor for our children's shelter phasing out, our second generation prevention program donor phasing out, our rescue efforts-no donors at all and biggest of all our construction of shelters which has over-shot the budget by 2 crores as the cost of building construction material( sand,cement,steel etc) has shot up by 250%... I am seriously thinking how does anybody expect us to become financially sustainable.Especially in a context when we are not even sustainable in terms of human resources!!!
It continues to be a great challenge to get people to work with us full time.For ages we are looking for somebody who can do our documentation for donor compliances ( believe me it is not possible to sit far away and do it as it requires a lot more of understanding of the pulse of the work )...or exclusively work on fund raising...or look after the advocacy...or work on marketing... Every time there is a physical attack on the organization the first persons to leave are the 'professionals', most cannot handle the pressure...including the pressure related to working with a person like me.
But I am sure there must be something logical and sensible in this expectation of 'sustainability'...just figuring out how to do it in a world which is slowly shrinking in terms of 'giving'...cutting down and downsizing is for humanitarian work( you will understand what I am saying if you see the budgets allocated for social sector)...but financial investments for war...ammunition...terrorism...marriages...scams(2G, CWG, IPL)...even auctioning for cricketers continues to grow with electrifying speed...
And fools like me continue to beg for constructing a safe shelter for victimized human beings...
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
WHAT DO I WANT? FAME,POWER,POSITION...
Am I selfless?
This is a question that has haunted me for years.
When I was a child and when I was taunted by many for my small size...they called me kulla kathiraka (short brinjal), penguin and many other names I now do not recall...it definitely became refined in college...they called me KULZ(shorty), I used to think 'wait till I become something' I will...(not exactly sure what I would teach them or prove to them).
Later in life when I waited for hours on end to meet a District Collector( also the District Magistrate) or was repeatedly humiliated by officials for the work I was doing, I still remember this senior police officer whose orderly ordered me to remove my footwear to enter the office and when I actually met the holy officer he would not even look at my face, the whole appointment lasted 2mins ( I had taken the appointment 1 week in advance)...in those times my chaotic mind churned with such negativity would respond...wait till I become the prime minister of India (of course in these cases I knew 100% what I will do...transfer the officer to the dark dungeon corners of the world!!!) or when I have to walk in a crowd and I am scared to get crushed...I think wait till I get the Nobel Prize and Oscars( this is my lifelong fantasy...not sure how I will ever reach there...but in my fantasy I even have my speech ready)...and right now when I am crawling on my knees meeting hordes of officers just to get a piece of land to relocate my economic rehabilitation unit(my landlord Mr Baburvahan Reddy wants us to vacate immediately, none of my pleas appealing for support for our work has any effect on him...last year he did that about our shelters and we were forced to buy land 60 km outside Hyderabad and start construction...in two months time we will shift the shelters...he on the other hand is doubling the rent even for temporary respite... I am not sure why I do not meet any of those generous philanthropist who donate their land for good causes) and each one of the officers I meet tell me how it is not possible to get a land in and around Hyderabad...and I am still going offices to offices hoping a miracle will happen and I may get 2 acres of land in Hyderabad or close to it... and then I read in the newspaper that all the corporates and industries in the world are being given land in and around Hyderabad with overwhelming generosity by the Government of Andhra Pradesh...I grind my teeth and I think....wait till I...
Is this not craving for power, position and fame? Why do I till date continue to have such thoughts...especially when the world is hostile...not supportive...creating obstacles in everything I do... am I truly working on my mission without expecting any gains. Just because I do not crave for any monetary gains( I have never taken a salary) does that necessarily mean I do not crave for other things like fame and recognition. What do I want?
I know my churning will continue...the only thing I am sure as of today is my cravings are stronger and deeper especially when I am in deep crises...with hostility at every end...provoking me...questioning my mission...making me feel voiceless for my children...my girls...
This is a question that has haunted me for years.
When I was a child and when I was taunted by many for my small size...they called me kulla kathiraka (short brinjal), penguin and many other names I now do not recall...it definitely became refined in college...they called me KULZ(shorty), I used to think 'wait till I become something' I will...(not exactly sure what I would teach them or prove to them).
Later in life when I waited for hours on end to meet a District Collector( also the District Magistrate) or was repeatedly humiliated by officials for the work I was doing, I still remember this senior police officer whose orderly ordered me to remove my footwear to enter the office and when I actually met the holy officer he would not even look at my face, the whole appointment lasted 2mins ( I had taken the appointment 1 week in advance)...in those times my chaotic mind churned with such negativity would respond...wait till I become the prime minister of India (of course in these cases I knew 100% what I will do...transfer the officer to the dark dungeon corners of the world!!!) or when I have to walk in a crowd and I am scared to get crushed...I think wait till I get the Nobel Prize and Oscars( this is my lifelong fantasy...not sure how I will ever reach there...but in my fantasy I even have my speech ready)...and right now when I am crawling on my knees meeting hordes of officers just to get a piece of land to relocate my economic rehabilitation unit(my landlord Mr Baburvahan Reddy wants us to vacate immediately, none of my pleas appealing for support for our work has any effect on him...last year he did that about our shelters and we were forced to buy land 60 km outside Hyderabad and start construction...in two months time we will shift the shelters...he on the other hand is doubling the rent even for temporary respite... I am not sure why I do not meet any of those generous philanthropist who donate their land for good causes) and each one of the officers I meet tell me how it is not possible to get a land in and around Hyderabad...and I am still going offices to offices hoping a miracle will happen and I may get 2 acres of land in Hyderabad or close to it... and then I read in the newspaper that all the corporates and industries in the world are being given land in and around Hyderabad with overwhelming generosity by the Government of Andhra Pradesh...I grind my teeth and I think....wait till I...
Is this not craving for power, position and fame? Why do I till date continue to have such thoughts...especially when the world is hostile...not supportive...creating obstacles in everything I do... am I truly working on my mission without expecting any gains. Just because I do not crave for any monetary gains( I have never taken a salary) does that necessarily mean I do not crave for other things like fame and recognition. What do I want?
I know my churning will continue...the only thing I am sure as of today is my cravings are stronger and deeper especially when I am in deep crises...with hostility at every end...provoking me...questioning my mission...making me feel voiceless for my children...my girls...
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
One Year After TED
Cannot imagine that one year has gone by, last year during the same time I was attending the TED conference. A conference I went with heavy heart and came back as a elated soul. I remember my first day at TED I was overwhelmed and intimidated. Among all these innovators,scientists, entrepreneurs,performers where do I stand as a activist. I have neither humor to make people laugh nor innovation that can make people look at me with awe. My first evening reception was a disaster to say the least. Within me I felt so insignificant in a world of creativity and power.
And then my world changed after I spoke, I felt so much loved and cherished. The next two days were bliss and it was as if the Gods were conspiring to make me feel included,cherished and honored. Years of pain and exclusion just washed away. Support poured in, miracles happened. Problems which were gnawing me suddenly became easily manageable.Issues like eviction became less threatening as support poured in for construction. Google donated 1 million dollars for the construction( it reduced my struggles by 80%).
I became techno literate( started my blog, facebook etc...). Post TED my world did change for good...today support networks are more,there are people interested to know about our trails and tribulations and most importantly the silence around the cause of sex trafficking is systematically breaking. There are at least 6 facebook communities( the ones I know) who are talking on sex trafficking.
But this year has also been a year of challenges. Challenges that threatened the very root of the organization. You cannot have it all....
-For many years the organization has been seriously looking for an ideal person to lead the Economic Rehabilitation Program(ERP). The look out was for a person with sound business ideas and also sensitivity to understand the special needs of trafficked survivors. This ambitious expectation, took as to many fora to identify the right person. Efforts were also put in through newspaper advertisements etc. A lot of money was spent in this search. After two years of search a ray of hope was seen when miraculously we found two persons( a dear friend put our requirement on Dev Net and that started the ball rolling), one with a management expertise and the other with marketing skills. The expert in management was made the Coordinator of ERP.
As the leader of the team I, for once was relieved to hand over a lot of my responsibilities to another person especially related to business and marketing. For more than a month and a half we lived in euphoria as brilliant ideas to promote the business was tossed around and there was generally an air of great happening. Till one day when I met a customer who owed us some payment. As usual when I asked him when he was going to pay up he was shocked and informed me that he had already paid at least a month back. Immediately I called up our accounts section to find out why this customer appeared in the recovery list. And they informed me that the money has never reached them and they were constantly following up with the Coordinator, who had promised them that the money will recovered at the earliest. Immediate probe into the matter revealed that the Coordinator in collaboration with the Marketing Executive had already collected payments in cash at least a month earlier. Due to early detection we were able to prevent large-scale misappropriation of funds. Both the coordinator and marketing executive were dismissed from services and the funds misappropriated were recovered. I was forced to hold additional charges of looking after the enterprise.
-As this crises was happening in ERP, the second generation prevention program which had started an economic rehabilitation unit for prostituted women (who were also mothers of children studying in the transition centers) faced severe resistance from the brothel keepers and brokers/pimps. One of the transition centers was vandalized. Tube lights, fans, flower pots were damaged. Property worth Rs 40,000/ (approx. 900$) was destroyed. A police case was lodged.
-In the shelters, two shocking events happened. The biggest escapade of 10 victims from a ventilator on a rainy day was extremely depressing. As this was the first time such an event had happened in the shelter. The profile of the victims escaped revealed that all were witnesses in different cases. Only three of them did not appear to be connected to any case. One of three abandoned her 6 months baby and ran away. With a heavy heart we had to hand over the child to the court who handed the baby to the Government Orphanage. This happened in the month of September. Through reliable sources we also came to understand that there were traffickers posing as victims in the shelter whose main goal was to make all the victims who were witnesses hostile through intimidation. Unfortunately we could not spot the traffickers(we have a over crowded shelter right now). But what we were able to do was to strengthen the security measures internally. Slowly all loopholes were plugged. Maybe it was the realization of futility of efforts that the traffickers felt frustrated which forced them to go on a rampage within the shelter. TV, Fridge, tube-lights, sound system, CD Player, tables & chairs were destroyed. Three staff and three resident victims were injured in this act of aggression. Utter chaos prevailed for more than an hour, until staff from all units rushed and controlled the situation. The silver lining, we were able to spot all the 10 infiltrators. They were handed over to the police. The damage other than property( 2 lacs , approx. 4250 $) was the morale of the staff which heavily came down. Three senior staff from other interventions who witnessed the episode resigned. Interestingly those who were hurt have become more committed to the cause. Now there is acute staff shortage in the organization and my own movements (travelling outside Hyderabad) has been cut down considerably as only physical presence is boosting the morale of my team.
-During the same period the security of the head office was put under tremendous risk when the organization got involved in two high profile cases in September. One case in which an inspector of police raped a 14 yr old girl. I was personally involved in not only booking the case but also providing safe shelter to the child victim. Consequently there was constant drama in the office premises with media having a hay day. In another case three girls were rescued from a reputed spa which was a front for prostitution. In the second case the office was filled with claimants & lawyers demanding access to the victims. Threatening and intimidating calls from very powerful people also poured in.
-Outside Hyderabad, at the construction end, where we are building our new shelters it was a shocking news when the newspaper reported that the cost of the construction material has increased by 200%. As per the new prices we need another 400,000$ to complete the construction. In a context when we have to vacate the existing rented premises by Dec 31st 2010 it is a huge challenge to raise this this kind of funds in just two months.
-And finally the king of all crises, last year we faced trouble with an official working in the income tax department after we refused to give her bribe. The lady in question a Jt. Commisioner of income tax promptly passed an order that we are a commercial profit-making institution and that we had to immediately pay tax to the tune of 45lacs (approx. 100000 $) to the department. We fought the case and we won and I thought it was over for good. Short lived was my relief as the department has now challenged the order in the tribunal( highest court for the income tax cases).
And my saga continues... a year after TED what do I feel?
Miracles give you renewed energy but life goes on and bigger battles await you at every corner.
And then my world changed after I spoke, I felt so much loved and cherished. The next two days were bliss and it was as if the Gods were conspiring to make me feel included,cherished and honored. Years of pain and exclusion just washed away. Support poured in, miracles happened. Problems which were gnawing me suddenly became easily manageable.Issues like eviction became less threatening as support poured in for construction. Google donated 1 million dollars for the construction( it reduced my struggles by 80%).
I became techno literate( started my blog, facebook etc...). Post TED my world did change for good...today support networks are more,there are people interested to know about our trails and tribulations and most importantly the silence around the cause of sex trafficking is systematically breaking. There are at least 6 facebook communities( the ones I know) who are talking on sex trafficking.
But this year has also been a year of challenges. Challenges that threatened the very root of the organization. You cannot have it all....
-For many years the organization has been seriously looking for an ideal person to lead the Economic Rehabilitation Program(ERP). The look out was for a person with sound business ideas and also sensitivity to understand the special needs of trafficked survivors. This ambitious expectation, took as to many fora to identify the right person. Efforts were also put in through newspaper advertisements etc. A lot of money was spent in this search. After two years of search a ray of hope was seen when miraculously we found two persons( a dear friend put our requirement on Dev Net and that started the ball rolling), one with a management expertise and the other with marketing skills. The expert in management was made the Coordinator of ERP.
As the leader of the team I, for once was relieved to hand over a lot of my responsibilities to another person especially related to business and marketing. For more than a month and a half we lived in euphoria as brilliant ideas to promote the business was tossed around and there was generally an air of great happening. Till one day when I met a customer who owed us some payment. As usual when I asked him when he was going to pay up he was shocked and informed me that he had already paid at least a month back. Immediately I called up our accounts section to find out why this customer appeared in the recovery list. And they informed me that the money has never reached them and they were constantly following up with the Coordinator, who had promised them that the money will recovered at the earliest. Immediate probe into the matter revealed that the Coordinator in collaboration with the Marketing Executive had already collected payments in cash at least a month earlier. Due to early detection we were able to prevent large-scale misappropriation of funds. Both the coordinator and marketing executive were dismissed from services and the funds misappropriated were recovered. I was forced to hold additional charges of looking after the enterprise.
-As this crises was happening in ERP, the second generation prevention program which had started an economic rehabilitation unit for prostituted women (who were also mothers of children studying in the transition centers) faced severe resistance from the brothel keepers and brokers/pimps. One of the transition centers was vandalized. Tube lights, fans, flower pots were damaged. Property worth Rs 40,000/ (approx. 900$) was destroyed. A police case was lodged.
-In the shelters, two shocking events happened. The biggest escapade of 10 victims from a ventilator on a rainy day was extremely depressing. As this was the first time such an event had happened in the shelter. The profile of the victims escaped revealed that all were witnesses in different cases. Only three of them did not appear to be connected to any case. One of three abandoned her 6 months baby and ran away. With a heavy heart we had to hand over the child to the court who handed the baby to the Government Orphanage. This happened in the month of September. Through reliable sources we also came to understand that there were traffickers posing as victims in the shelter whose main goal was to make all the victims who were witnesses hostile through intimidation. Unfortunately we could not spot the traffickers(we have a over crowded shelter right now). But what we were able to do was to strengthen the security measures internally. Slowly all loopholes were plugged. Maybe it was the realization of futility of efforts that the traffickers felt frustrated which forced them to go on a rampage within the shelter. TV, Fridge, tube-lights, sound system, CD Player, tables & chairs were destroyed. Three staff and three resident victims were injured in this act of aggression. Utter chaos prevailed for more than an hour, until staff from all units rushed and controlled the situation. The silver lining, we were able to spot all the 10 infiltrators. They were handed over to the police. The damage other than property( 2 lacs , approx. 4250 $) was the morale of the staff which heavily came down. Three senior staff from other interventions who witnessed the episode resigned. Interestingly those who were hurt have become more committed to the cause. Now there is acute staff shortage in the organization and my own movements (travelling outside Hyderabad) has been cut down considerably as only physical presence is boosting the morale of my team.
-During the same period the security of the head office was put under tremendous risk when the organization got involved in two high profile cases in September. One case in which an inspector of police raped a 14 yr old girl. I was personally involved in not only booking the case but also providing safe shelter to the child victim. Consequently there was constant drama in the office premises with media having a hay day. In another case three girls were rescued from a reputed spa which was a front for prostitution. In the second case the office was filled with claimants & lawyers demanding access to the victims. Threatening and intimidating calls from very powerful people also poured in.
-Outside Hyderabad, at the construction end, where we are building our new shelters it was a shocking news when the newspaper reported that the cost of the construction material has increased by 200%. As per the new prices we need another 400,000$ to complete the construction. In a context when we have to vacate the existing rented premises by Dec 31st 2010 it is a huge challenge to raise this this kind of funds in just two months.
-And finally the king of all crises, last year we faced trouble with an official working in the income tax department after we refused to give her bribe. The lady in question a Jt. Commisioner of income tax promptly passed an order that we are a commercial profit-making institution and that we had to immediately pay tax to the tune of 45lacs (approx. 100000 $) to the department. We fought the case and we won and I thought it was over for good. Short lived was my relief as the department has now challenged the order in the tribunal( highest court for the income tax cases).
And my saga continues... a year after TED what do I feel?
Miracles give you renewed energy but life goes on and bigger battles await you at every corner.
Monday, August 30, 2010
The pain of betrayal...
Not sure if I should I write at all...there is a deep pain in me but more than that a fear of being misunderstood.
For the past 15 days I have been plagued with threatening and obscene calls. Things went bad to worst when I realized that this person was also stalking me as he would comment on my exact location every time he called. All the calls were made from coin boxes. That was it, I decided things had gone too far,unlike so many other threatening calls that I get everyday which I happily ignore mostly because I can empathize with their frustrations and sometimes also because I sense the grudging respect they have for my work, but this was point blank derogatory and had nothing to do with my work but something to do with my person.
I lodged a police complaint. As my life is under constant threat the police took the complaint very seriously. A manhunt in earnest began.The situation was challenging as all the calls made were from different telephone booths that too from coin boxes. Finally they identified the person and the house he was living but were not able to nab him as the house was locked for 10days. Apparently this character hails from Guntur he already has a wife and two kids whom he has left and is now living with a woman in Hyderabad.
Then one evening my colleague who manages my shelter program was reporting to me about a girl whom we had rescued 7 yrs back and was in advance stages of AIDS and had been just discharged from the care and support center where I had admitted her 10 days back. This girl came to me in advance stages of HIV more or less as a discarded being in of our rescues 7yrs back. We had taken care of her, restored her life and ensured that she was gainfully employed. After staying in my shelter for 3 yrs she had rented a room outside and was working in my organization. We also knew that she had a boyfriend. 10days back when we came to know that she was very sick I had insisted that she should be hospitalized.
As we were talking I get another call on my other phone that this girl's boyfriend has been arrested by the police. I cautioned my staff who called me not get involved till we are not fully aware of the facts of the matter.
In half an hour's time the police called me and reported that my stalker has been arrested and it turns out to be this girl's boyfriend. I was shocked to say the least but imagine my pain when I came to know that the girl was equally involved in this whole endeavor.
I am not able to still understand the motive behind all this...I think the girl is acting under the spell of stockholm's syndrome...
She was a paid a decent salary(Rs 6,000), her health needs were taken care...what more was expected of me?
I do not want the world to think that all victims behave like this...and that is why I am scared to share. Lest people form further judgements about these victims.
But I still have not come in terms with the pain I am going through...only one question haunts me why?
The man is in the jail...I ensured that the girl still has her job( she is sick and needs support). My team does not feel good about my so called 'forgiving attitude'.But I cannot forget that she is dying...
For the past 15 days I have been plagued with threatening and obscene calls. Things went bad to worst when I realized that this person was also stalking me as he would comment on my exact location every time he called. All the calls were made from coin boxes. That was it, I decided things had gone too far,unlike so many other threatening calls that I get everyday which I happily ignore mostly because I can empathize with their frustrations and sometimes also because I sense the grudging respect they have for my work, but this was point blank derogatory and had nothing to do with my work but something to do with my person.
I lodged a police complaint. As my life is under constant threat the police took the complaint very seriously. A manhunt in earnest began.The situation was challenging as all the calls made were from different telephone booths that too from coin boxes. Finally they identified the person and the house he was living but were not able to nab him as the house was locked for 10days. Apparently this character hails from Guntur he already has a wife and two kids whom he has left and is now living with a woman in Hyderabad.
Then one evening my colleague who manages my shelter program was reporting to me about a girl whom we had rescued 7 yrs back and was in advance stages of AIDS and had been just discharged from the care and support center where I had admitted her 10 days back. This girl came to me in advance stages of HIV more or less as a discarded being in of our rescues 7yrs back. We had taken care of her, restored her life and ensured that she was gainfully employed. After staying in my shelter for 3 yrs she had rented a room outside and was working in my organization. We also knew that she had a boyfriend. 10days back when we came to know that she was very sick I had insisted that she should be hospitalized.
As we were talking I get another call on my other phone that this girl's boyfriend has been arrested by the police. I cautioned my staff who called me not get involved till we are not fully aware of the facts of the matter.
In half an hour's time the police called me and reported that my stalker has been arrested and it turns out to be this girl's boyfriend. I was shocked to say the least but imagine my pain when I came to know that the girl was equally involved in this whole endeavor.
I am not able to still understand the motive behind all this...I think the girl is acting under the spell of stockholm's syndrome...
She was a paid a decent salary(Rs 6,000), her health needs were taken care...what more was expected of me?
I do not want the world to think that all victims behave like this...and that is why I am scared to share. Lest people form further judgements about these victims.
But I still have not come in terms with the pain I am going through...only one question haunts me why?
The man is in the jail...I ensured that the girl still has her job( she is sick and needs support). My team does not feel good about my so called 'forgiving attitude'.But I cannot forget that she is dying...
Monday, August 9, 2010
OF HUNDI DONATIONS & VOLUNTARY WORK!!!
Last week I was talking to a friend on how we Indians are more comfortable donating to temples than to real issues and causes. Every time we go around "begging" for financial support we have to answer a million questions regarding whether it will reach the beneficiary or not...how it will be spent...can they actually see the results? All questions justified and I personally feel we are accountable and responsible for every pie we collect and we should jolly well make sure that it benefits the right person.
But what bugs me is the fact that the same persons will close their eyes(practically) and donate huge amounts of money ( sometime billions) in a temple or a church or a mosque's 'hundi'( the money collection box). Do they ever ask whether God will receive it or not (it is meant to be given to him/her right)? Why would somebody who is already owning the world...creating it...protecting it and is supposed to be showering prosperity to everybody need any further donation. In fact he/she is supposed to be so wealthy that he/she can look after billions living on the earth.
Why do we think a million times over to support or help a fellow human being...analyzing how deserving...how much tax exemption...and most importantly should I at all? And all those analyses just vanishes into thin air if Gods & Goddess come into picture.
Lets keep monetary contributions aside. Lets look at voluntary work. Why don't we allow our 10 or 12 yr old child to do voluntary work for a cause...(but all of ensure our children our God fearing and drag them to all temples...mosques...churches)
Why is it that in most Indian civil society organizations we find more foreign volunteers(sometimes even NRI's) but hardly any Indians living in India? In fact in my own organization I get at least 150 requests a month to work as volunteers out which 145 will be foreigners and hardly 5 Indians.
Today in the old city of Hyderabad everybody is celebrating "Bonalu"...a festival of the Mother Goddess...
I see millions of rupees being spent for pujas(prayers in temples)...to take huge processions on the road...the band...the music...the fireworks...the fanfare.
I also see the hungry & starving children...the illiterate population...the community living below poverty line...the shack holes in unhygienic slums...the pathetic potholes on the roads...the pain of broken souls...COULDN'T THEY SPEND THE MILLIONS HERE?
COULDN'T WE GIVE OURSELVES TO CHANGE THE SITUATION IN THE EARTH THAT WE LIVE TODAY...BEFORE WE JOIN THE GODS IN HEAVEN!
But what bugs me is the fact that the same persons will close their eyes(practically) and donate huge amounts of money ( sometime billions) in a temple or a church or a mosque's 'hundi'( the money collection box). Do they ever ask whether God will receive it or not (it is meant to be given to him/her right)? Why would somebody who is already owning the world...creating it...protecting it and is supposed to be showering prosperity to everybody need any further donation. In fact he/she is supposed to be so wealthy that he/she can look after billions living on the earth.
Why do we think a million times over to support or help a fellow human being...analyzing how deserving...how much tax exemption...and most importantly should I at all? And all those analyses just vanishes into thin air if Gods & Goddess come into picture.
Lets keep monetary contributions aside. Lets look at voluntary work. Why don't we allow our 10 or 12 yr old child to do voluntary work for a cause...(but all of ensure our children our God fearing and drag them to all temples...mosques...churches)
Why is it that in most Indian civil society organizations we find more foreign volunteers(sometimes even NRI's) but hardly any Indians living in India? In fact in my own organization I get at least 150 requests a month to work as volunteers out which 145 will be foreigners and hardly 5 Indians.
Today in the old city of Hyderabad everybody is celebrating "Bonalu"...a festival of the Mother Goddess...
I see millions of rupees being spent for pujas(prayers in temples)...to take huge processions on the road...the band...the music...the fireworks...the fanfare.
I also see the hungry & starving children...the illiterate population...the community living below poverty line...the shack holes in unhygienic slums...the pathetic potholes on the roads...the pain of broken souls...COULDN'T THEY SPEND THE MILLIONS HERE?
COULDN'T WE GIVE OURSELVES TO CHANGE THE SITUATION IN THE EARTH THAT WE LIVE TODAY...BEFORE WE JOIN THE GODS IN HEAVEN!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Feature Film on Sex Trafficking
Finally after using many tools to sensitize the communities, I feel the compelling urge to make a feature film on sex trafficking. Is it too ambitious? Still my conviction to make one is not changing. This urge is not new...in fact it is more than a year old. Some real life instances became the triggering point...Rajesh my husband gave it a shape in the form of a powerful story & a screenplay which is targeted at a mass audience. I am definitely sure I want to make a film that touches the masses and gains critical acclaim. And so Durga was born. So why am I blogging?
Largely to seek your support.
What we have?
-A powerful script
-A sensitive internationally acclaimed director willing to work freely
-A sensitized credible technical team willing to work freely
-A potential for making the film tax free in Andhra Pradesh
-And a minimal working capital
What we need?
- To raise Rupees 1 crore ( need not be a single investor or better still a donor, even if a 100 persons join and make it happen it will be great.
-To search and identify talented fresh faces( to play the lead and other characters) who should at least speak telugu.
-To get houses, hotels,farm houses, resorts as locations free of cost.
- To find media partners for promotion
-To find a good distributer
What we want to achieve?
-Target a large audience to sensitize on the issue of sex trafficking
-Ensure commercial viability to support our work.
-Shake all existing trafficking networks in AP by way of presentation of reality.
Now I am seeking support...hopefully one of you will respond.
Largely to seek your support.
What we have?
-A powerful script
-A sensitive internationally acclaimed director willing to work freely
-A sensitized credible technical team willing to work freely
-A potential for making the film tax free in Andhra Pradesh
-And a minimal working capital
What we need?
- To raise Rupees 1 crore ( need not be a single investor or better still a donor, even if a 100 persons join and make it happen it will be great.
-To search and identify talented fresh faces( to play the lead and other characters) who should at least speak telugu.
-To get houses, hotels,farm houses, resorts as locations free of cost.
- To find media partners for promotion
-To find a good distributer
What we want to achieve?
-Target a large audience to sensitize on the issue of sex trafficking
-Ensure commercial viability to support our work.
-Shake all existing trafficking networks in AP by way of presentation of reality.
Now I am seeking support...hopefully one of you will respond.
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