The pain of betrayal...

Not sure if I should I write at all...there is a deep pain in me but more than that a fear of being misunderstood.
For the past 15 days I have been plagued with threatening and obscene calls. Things went bad to worst when I realized that this person was also stalking me as he would comment on my exact location every time he called. All the calls were made from coin boxes. That was it, I decided things had gone too far,unlike so many other threatening calls that I get everyday which I happily ignore mostly because I can empathize with their frustrations and sometimes also because I sense the grudging respect they have for my work, but this was point blank derogatory and had nothing to do with my work but something to do with my person.

I lodged a police complaint. As my life is under constant threat the police took the complaint very seriously. A manhunt in earnest began.The situation was challenging as all the calls made were from different telephone booths that too from coin boxes. Finally they identified the person and the house he was living but were not able to nab him as the house was locked for 10days. Apparently this character hails from Guntur he already has a wife and two kids whom he has left and is now living with a woman in Hyderabad.

Then one evening my colleague who manages my shelter program was reporting to me about a girl whom we had rescued 7 yrs back and was in advance stages of AIDS and had been just discharged from the care and support center where I had admitted her 10 days back. This girl came to me in advance stages of HIV more or less as a discarded being in of our rescues 7yrs back. We had taken care of her, restored her life and ensured that she was gainfully employed. After staying in my shelter for 3 yrs she had rented a room outside and was working in my organization. We also knew that she had a boyfriend. 10days back when we came to know that she was very sick I had insisted that she should be hospitalized.
As we were talking I get another call on my other phone that this girl's boyfriend has been arrested by the police. I cautioned my staff who called me not get involved till we are not fully aware of the facts of the matter.
In half an hour's time the police called me and reported that my stalker has been arrested and it turns out to be this girl's boyfriend. I was shocked to say the least but imagine my pain when I came to know that the girl was equally involved in this whole endeavor.
I am not able to still understand the motive behind all this...I think the girl is acting under the spell of stockholm's syndrome...
She was a paid a decent salary(Rs 6,000), her health needs were taken care...what more was expected of me?
I do not want the world to think that all victims behave like this...and that is why I am scared to share. Lest people form further judgements about these victims.
But I still have not come in terms with the pain I am going through...only one question haunts me why?
The man is in the jail...I ensured that the girl still has her job( she is sick and needs support). My team does not feel good about my so called 'forgiving attitude'.But I cannot forget that she is dying...

OF HUNDI DONATIONS & VOLUNTARY WORK!!!

Last week I was talking to a friend on how we Indians are more comfortable donating to temples than to real issues and causes. Every time we go around "begging" for financial support we have to answer a million questions regarding whether it will reach the beneficiary or not...how it will be spent...can they actually see the results? All questions justified and I personally feel we are accountable and responsible for every pie we collect and we should jolly well make sure that it benefits the right person.

But what bugs me is the fact that the same persons will close their eyes(practically) and donate huge amounts of money ( sometime billions) in a temple or a church or a mosque's 'hundi'( the money collection box). Do they ever ask whether God will receive it or not (it is meant to be given to him/her right)? Why would somebody who is already owning the world...creating it...protecting it and is supposed to be showering prosperity to everybody need any further donation. In fact he/she is supposed to be so wealthy that he/she can look after billions living on the earth.

Why do we think a million times over to support or help a fellow human being...analyzing how deserving...how much tax exemption...and most importantly should I at all? And all those analyses just vanishes into thin air if Gods & Goddess come into picture.
Lets keep monetary contributions aside. Lets look at voluntary work. Why don't we allow our 10 or 12 yr old child to do voluntary work for a cause...(but all of ensure our children our God fearing and drag them to all temples...mosques...churches)
Why is it that in most Indian civil society organizations we find more foreign volunteers(sometimes even NRI's) but hardly any Indians living in India? In fact in my own organization I get at least 150 requests a month to work as volunteers out which 145 will be foreigners and hardly 5 Indians.

Today in the old city of Hyderabad everybody is celebrating "Bonalu"...a festival of the Mother Goddess...
I see millions of rupees being spent for pujas(prayers in temples)...to take huge processions on the road...the band...the music...the fireworks...the fanfare.
I also see the hungry & starving children...the illiterate population...the community living below poverty line...the shack holes in unhygienic slums...the pathetic potholes on the roads...the pain of broken souls...COULDN'T THEY SPEND THE MILLIONS HERE?
COULDN'T WE GIVE OURSELVES TO CHANGE THE SITUATION IN THE EARTH THAT WE LIVE TODAY...BEFORE WE JOIN THE GODS IN HEAVEN!

Feature Film on Sex Trafficking

Finally after using many tools to sensitize the communities, I feel the compelling urge to make a feature film on sex trafficking. Is it too ambitious? Still my conviction to make one is not changing. This urge is not new...in fact it is more than a year old. Some real life instances became the triggering point...Rajesh my husband gave it a shape in the form of a powerful story & a screenplay which is targeted at a mass audience. I am definitely sure I want to make a film that touches the masses and gains critical acclaim. And so Durga was born. So why am I blogging?
Largely to seek your support.
What we have?
-A powerful script
-A sensitive internationally acclaimed director willing to work freely
-A sensitized credible technical team willing to work freely
-A potential for making the film tax free in Andhra Pradesh
-And a minimal working capital

What we need?
- To raise Rupees 1 crore ( need not be a single investor or better still a donor, even if a 100 persons join and make it happen it will be great.
-To search and identify talented fresh faces( to play the lead and other characters) who should at least speak telugu.
-To get houses, hotels,farm houses, resorts as locations free of cost.
- To find media partners for promotion
-To find a good distributer

What we want to achieve?
-Target a large audience to sensitize on the issue of sex trafficking
-Ensure commercial viability to support our work.
-Shake all existing trafficking networks in AP by way of presentation of reality.

Now I am seeking support...hopefully one of you will respond.

Insecurities and fears of an activist

It has been a long time since I blogged. I am not going to give excuses of work pressure or other crises which is a day today package for all of us who are fighting similar battles. It is simply a case of emotional crash. It all started with somebody stealing 4500$ from my handbag. This is the money I have been saving for the last 18years from my various international tours. Whenever we are invited for an International seminar or a conference we are paid a per diem for our stay. Being a full time volunteer in Prajwala I do not a draw a salary. Before my marriage it was imperative that I do some kind of consultancy work outside the organization to sustain my living, so these per diem become a source of income for my sustenance.Most often I would skip meals to save this money.And being a finicky Indian vegetarian helped, as my options were any way limited and so a lot of money was saved foregoing meals. After marriage of course saving for sustenance became a lower priority and buying a gift for my husband a compelling need.
For some reason I have always resisted converting this amount into Indian currency. Maybe because we as activist do not get a credit card. So for some unknown reason it made a lot of sense to carry all these dollars in the hand bag just as a security in cases of emergency.And the few times I was able to exercise this option,I was more than ever convinced that my handbag is a better place than a bank or a locker. For years it was safe and one day it was all stolen and I realized it just 15 minutes before I left for the airport to attend a conference in Geneva.
Something within me crashed. I had a hollow feeling in my stomach(it has still not gone). For years I used to tell Raj, my husband that this amount is my back-up for all the surgeries I have to have, for my care if I am bedridden and of course for my funeral. And suddenly it was all gone without a trace. And absolutely no clue about who or when?
For the first time I pondered whether it was a wise decision to work as a full time volunteer, not having either a regular income or savings. What happens to people like us when we are sick or bedridden and need financial support. Should I then seek charitable support? Of course I have done it in the past whenever I was beaten I received free medical treatment by altruistic doctors. Maybe it is my mid-life crises that I have become very insecure and the fear of being penniless on the road suddenly is a scary option. For the first time I wondered what will happen to me if my marriage did not work out...and I realized under the grab of a courageous activist lies a very insecure person who craves for all the securities/safety that other people toil hard to create.
And here I thought I was different...and sometimes when people called me a saint( sometimes I nearly believed it)...what a sham!
Today I know for sure that I am no different from others, I also crave for securities/safety, maybe my need is not strong enough to make that as my first priority but definitely it is strong enough to shake my insides once in a while...
As I muse on my insecurities...life goes on...rescues continue...and thankfully throughout this ordeal even for a single moment I have not regretted my choice to fight sex trafficking as my life mission.

The Curious Case of American Health Care System

Well for the last one week I am in United States of America, traveling from Washington DC to Newyork. This happened when I was in DC. On the first day of the conference I was mighty thrilled during the registration when they gave us a medical insurance card for 4 days and I casually commented to a fellow participant 'wow this is a good motivation to fall sick'.
Little did I realize God the almighty has tuned all his/her ears only to my pleas. My first encounter with the American Health System was quick enough when a fellow participant an Indian Judge had watering in her eyes which later turned into blurred vision in one of the eye. Armed with our medical insurance card we rushed to the minute clinic of a CVS pharmacy. The doctor there was very sweet and kind... put a of lot eyes drops,checked the eye inside out with all possible devices and than gallantly declared that he cannot treat it and we need to go to a eye specialist.So we humbly asked is there anything that we could do in the meantime.
And lo and behold the doctor opens his book and also the Google search engine...searches desperately for temporary solutions and then finally reads out that we may try hot compress on the eyes.
In the 20 minutes we spend with him, 10 mins was for documentation( which he said he has to complete), 6 mins to read from his books and 4 mins for the eyes. And after all that he says the insurance does't work. The Honb'le judge paid 62$ just to be told she has to go to a eye specialist !
12 hours later I developed severe pain on my knees...I just could not lift my knee...panic set in when I could not walk even after taking 2 pain killers. Well the wonderful organizers were worried and they rushed me and also the judge to the emergency care in a big hospital nearby. There again I was treated with some amount of compassion when a male nurse took my vitals etc...wrote on several papers my history etc. And after half an hour of waiting they took to the ward. In the ward they promptly put a identification mark on my wrist and then they left promising that the doctor will come soon to check.
Litlle did I know here in America "in a moment" could mean anything from 5mins to 2hrs. I waited and waited for some wonderful doctor to come. In the meantime I see a lot of doctors and nurses seemingly busy running around...not sure where( there were not too many patients anyway)
Finally losing patience after 2hrs I called a nurse and asked her when a doctor will come and check me. She in a very important tone told me that they had many other 'sick' people and they will attend to me only after some of those priorities are cleared.
Finally a doctor came,checked my kneed from all angles gave me some very serious looks and told me that there is a need to take an X ray under a scan as he suspects a blood clot. Since I did not look very impressed he continued and said this is a dangerous situation as the clot may got to my heart( Oh my gosh I may have hear attack) and then he said he will be back 'in a moment'
Again the moment streched to an half an hour...now I had lost any interest in getting my knees better I rather had an heart attack than while away my time in a Amercian Hospital.
I called for the doctor and I told him I want to leave...he was very upset and wrote in his notes that if I had a chest pain or breathlessness I should rush back to the emergency care...I was now just desperate to leave...I came out of the ward and who do I see still sitting in the reception 'the Indian Judge'.Even after 3 and a half hours they did not think her eye problem was a priority!
What did I learn? Never fall sick in USA,and if by bad luck you fall sick make sure you have a insurance that works otherwise you will pay through your nose just for a thoroughly useless check up. I wonder the fate of millions of migrants in America who do not have health insurance.
And finally I will never ever complain about Indian Hospitals not even a Indian Government Hospital...

When Protectors turn Predators...

Amina is a 12yr old special child. She came to me as a 10yr old... gang raped and mute. The police just dumped her with us for safe care,as no case could be booked. The child was hardly in a position to point out who had barbarically torn her!
For two years we nurtured Amina,with all the care..with all the compassion we possessed. We even got two of my staff trained in National Institute of Mental Health(NIMH) to gain skills to take care of special children.

Two years later Amina could speak a lot of words...she would come running to me…hugging me tight not allowing other children to come near me until she had her full.

As Amina grew older we felt quite at a disadvantage as we were less equipped to handle Amina and 7 other kids in the home who were mentally retarded. After a lot of internal discussion all of us in the team felt it would be better for these children if they were admitted in a home for special children, where they would be educated/trained with other special children. I was told many organizations were even specialized in providing occupational therapy which will in the long run make them employable. And hence it was decided to shift Amina and other special children to specialized home …convinced that would give them a better opportunity for mainstream life.

Our search for a good home was filled with challenges and hurdles. The name ‘Prajwala’ became a curse as it meant not just an anti trafficking organization but also a group who took care of a large number of trafficked HIV positive persons. Most reputed homes point blank refused admission on the presumption that Amina could be HIV positive(incidently she is not). We even took the support of Commisioner, Disabled Welfare to pressurize organizations who had Grant in Aid from Government of India to take these children. We were rejected by all. Most homes were willing to get into the bad books of the authorities but not take these children!

A newspaper classified ad that appeared in a leading English daily was the first ray of hope for us. Child Development Mission,an organization willing to take special children had advertised. We rushed to meet the organization. The friendly reception of the staff and the over enthusiasm of the team to welcome us at that time was really heart warming (after all the cold reception this was a welcome respite). But for some unknown reason (maybe it was our paranoid outlook) we decided not to admit all our children in the same place. Only Amina was admitted. Our team members informed the organization that we would be visiting every week to monitor Amina’s welfare which the organization strongly discouraged. We concluded as we had an organizational policy maybe they too had regarding visitors for residents.

In spite of the discouragement our team members went once a month to visit Amina. The first two meetings was uneventful. On the third visit we realized the organization had shifted its home. Panic set in when no neighbors could tell us where the organization had moved out and all phone numbers we had did not work. During this time I was traveling so Deepa my Director,Programs organized a team of senior members to hunt the organization. On a lead she even organized a decoy operation which finally lead us to the main functionary of Child Development Mission. The phone conversation with this gentleman was perhaps one of the most rude conversation we ever had. Only after our team threatened police action that this man mellowed down and gave us a cock and bull story of all children being sent away for Puja holidays and only Amina being housed in a care taker’s house.Such was our anxiety for Amina’s well being that we did not even question him why he had not informed us of the same…or why they had shifted…or what has happened to all phone numbers.In spite of all the persuasion he would not divulge the information where Amina was kept,just went on repeating that we could pick up Amina the next day. That night was the longest night for all my team members.

The next day our people rushed to the designated spot, a small room in a slum. The sight that awaited us was shocking to say the least. A totally unrecognizable Amina…with swollen face, swollen legs, barely able to stand …she was sitting in the room with a old woman who looked like a beggar. We brought back Amina, more shocks awaited us we when thoroughly examined her body. There were marks of bruises, burns all over her body. The greatest helplessness-Amina could not tell us what exactly happened.

Amina is now undergoing treatment for the last one week. We are planning legal action against the organization.
And I as I sit and mull over all these events, filled with untold guilt for the trauma we have caused in Amina’s life, would it have been better if Amina was with me without any real options for mainstream life…(until I am skilled to handle this issue…I don’t know how many more skills I need to master before I can handle it all)…living in a safe place but without any clear future ahead.

But my larger feeling is of anger and outrage.
When people/organizations claiming to be protectors and saviors turn predators doesn’t the world lose faith in the word TRUST.

SHOULD PROSTITUTION BE LEGALISED? SHOULD SLAVERY BE LEGITIMISED…

You must have heard...
‘PROSTITUTION IS THE OLDEST PROFESSION’
‘PROSTITUTION PROTECTS ‘GOOD’ WOMEN AGAINST RAPE’
‘MEN NEED TO RELEASE TENSION’
‘MALE BIOLOGY IS DIFFERENT FROM FEMALE BIOLOGY AND REQUIRES MULTIPLE WOMEN FOR SEXUAL SATISFACTION’
‘IF PROSTITUTION IS DECRIMINALISED THEN PROSTITUTED WOMEN WILL BE SAFER HEALTH WISE’
‘WOMEN CONSIDER PROSTITUTION AS LEGITIMATE WORK’
‘PROSTITUTION IS EASY MONEY’
‘HIV/AIDS CAN BE EFFECTIVELY FOUGHT IF PROSTITUTION IS DECRIMINALISED’
‘CONDOM PROMOTION AND SAFE SEX PRACTICES WILL MAKE PROSTITUTION SAFER’

Well we hear these things on a regular basis…by some who claim to know it all and a majority of others who have absolutely no clue what they are talking but would like to parrot what others say as they consider it as a dominant view point. But what is the reality.
Is prostitution which is also called by many “sex work” a choice of millions of women and children... who think this is a legitimate option? Is it exciting and glamorous offering easy money and wealth?
Is prostitution a deterrent to sexual crimes such as rape?
Well maybe facts can speak for themselves...

SOME FACTS
• After prostitution was legalized in Netherlands it is estimated that between 1996 and 2001 the number of children in prostitution increased by over 300% going from 4000 to 15000 and that 5000 of these children were trafficked from other countries.
• Not a single country across the world where prostitution is legalized have reported even a marginal decrease in crime against women or children
• Most studies across the world with prostituted women indicates a high percentage of physical injuries/abuses and psychological disorders ranging from verbal abuses, traumatic brain injuries(TBI), post traumatic stress disorders(PTSD) and mood disorders.
• Following legalization of prostitution in Victoria, Australia although the number of legal brothels doubled the greatest expansion was in illegal prostitution and in 1 year(1999) there was a 300% growth of illegal brothels(Sullivan and Jefferys,2001)
• Most studies show that prostituted women did not choose prostitution among a range of options such as medicine, law, teaching, nursing or politics. Their “options” were more in the realm of survival for themselves and their children.
• Over 70% prostituted women and children across the world were initiated into prostitution when they were less than 14yrs of age.
• Not a single prostituted person can control any transaction in prostitution. The person must do what the buyer wants to do. Research across the world shows that most women in prostitution report being subjected to acts that include burns with cigarettes, slashes with blades, being tied to bedposts, bodily mutilated, gang rape, sadism and various forms of sado machoism.
• Most prostituted women and children have little or no bargaining power on condom usage. Reports from across the world indicates that men would not hesitate to pay more for sex without condoms.
• More than 50% of prostituted women in countries were prostitution is legalized reported in a study that they do not think legal prostitution made them any safer from rape and physical assault( Farley et al.,2003)
• As an exploitative industry prostitution is controlled by the procurer, pimp, broker and madams where the prostituted women has little or no stake in her earnings. Most studies report in the first 3yrs of prostitution the person is in a debt trap paying up for the cost of her procurement.
• Most prostituted persons are subjected to repeated abortions, substance abuse, alcohol addiction, recurrent STI and RTI and vulnerability of being physically and psychologically assaulted.
• HIV/AIDS, STD’s, Cervical Cancer, TBI(traumatic brain injury) and all forms of psychological disorders are the various health issues that can effect most prostituted persons.
• Discussion with over 500 prostituted persons revealed that customers would always prefer different kinds of sexual services such as anal or oral intercourse which a prostituted person may or may not like. With limited time frame most acts of sex would be violent and rarely the consent of the person was sought regarding the act.

How is it possible to protect the health of someone whose “job” means that they will get raped on an average once a day?
How can something that is dehumanizing and violating become a dignified choice?
How can male violence be legitimized?
Does any of the above said appeal to us if our own daughter or sister made a choice to become a prostituted person.
So how does something that is so distasteful for majority of us,be supported and sanctioned, all because we are too preoccupied to collectively work towards dignified options and our afraid to address the male demand?
Can we be party to legitimize sexual slavery?

My journey in healing

There was a time in my life when I used to think if I meet God on the road, I may just kill him/her with my bare hands.
Witnessing the lives of hundreds of children who for no fault of theirs die untimely death…or struggle to fight a valiant battle against both internal and external demons just because some man or woman has destroyed everything that is precious about them -their “innocence” I had a overwhelming sense of betrayal and anger.
But as I got more and more involved in the lives of these children I realized this attitude of mine may have the most detrimental impact. So long as I concentrate on the pain and trauma I might miss out on their power and resilience. It was important for me to work on the immense potential of human minds to tide over adverse situations and emerge as positive persons who are capable of loving and sharing.
And thereon every child I met, who has been violated and abused I made sure the child understood that he/she is the one who is wronged and being a victim is not something one should be ashamed of. As the anger, pain, outrage and unbearable sense of betrayal poured out, the child was cleared of a burden of a lifetime. Through unconditional love, empathy and acceptance the child was able to see the beautiful person within. As we took the journey together the child was able to slowly regain dignity and a spirit to conquer all odds.
In that journey I also realized that God is not somebody I might meet on the road…he/she is everywhere, in me, around me and with me. And then I started feeling the God experience in this journey which not only touched the fragile soul of the child but also my angry soul.

Some Responses

Hi Sunny
I think I am not the only one mandated to work for a cause. All of us can do it. I chose rescue of victims of trafficking as my mission maybe you can select one of the areas you had mentioned. I think it is all our collective efforts from different angles that will make a better world for all of us. Regarding your comment that by rescuing victims I am promoting rape(as all sexually deprived men will go berseck) all that I can say is we have over 94% of victims still living in those hellholes and I am afraid there is no reduction in sexual violence either here in India or elsewhere.

Dear Anonymous friend,
Prajwala is a income tax exempted registered non-profit organization. I did not have to pay any tax for all the TED contributions. It is just recently after I refused to pay bribe to a Income Tax (Exemption) officer that an assessment order has been passed that I am a commercial institution and that I should pay tax. The order has already been stayed. And we are right now filing an appeal against the order. You can check our website www.prajwalaindia.com to know more on how to support us.

Thank you all for all your support and good wishes.

POWER OF PARTNERSHIP 19 VICTIMS RESCUED AND 5 TRAFFICKERS ARRESTED (A UNIQUE TESTIMONY OF MULTI-STAKEHOLDER PARTNERSHIP IN A INTER STATE RESCUE)

When two missing complaints were lodged in Koyyalagudem Police Station, Eluru,West Godavari District of Andhra Pradesh nobody thought it will unravel a vicious network of traffickers who were luring hundreds of girls from all over the region in the name of jobs and selling them off to different red light areas in Mumbai and Pune.
Illa Anjayya’s daughter and another girl from the same village were promised jobs in a hostel in Hyderabad by one B Sayyama. When there was no news from his daughter for many days and no trace of Sayyamma,Anjayya lodged a missing complaint. In the meantime a relative of the other girl who was also taken reported that both the girls were actually taken to Mumbai and sold there for prostitution for a paltry sum of Rs 45,000/. The alert Inspector (who was trained on Anti Human Trafficking) of Koyyalagudem immediately registered a case. No sooner the case was registered the traffickers released both the girls who came back and related the untold miseries of many other girls from Andhra Pradesh who were enslaved in Mumbai red area. Two of the four traffickers were immediately arrested.
Sensing that a larger racket was involved Eluru range DIG Mr Mahesh Murlidhar Bhagwat,IPS and Mr Balakrishna, SP,West Godavari planned on a larger rescue operation. With the dynamic support of Addl DG Shri Sivanarayan and IG Shri S Umapathi who head the Anti Human Trafficking Unit in the state, Commisioner of Mumbai Shri Sivanandan was contacted who made all arrangements for the rescue operation in Mumbai with the support of IG,Admin Shri Venkateshan and DCP Sanjay Mahiti and DCP Shila Sahil.
Prajwala the nodal anti human trafficking organization for the state was involved right from the planning stages. Rescue Foundation a credible organization in Mumbai was contacted for all local support.
On 25th Nov 2009 a team of 7 police officers lead by Kovvur DSP Janaki Sharmila and supported by CI Rajeev Kumar, SI Srinivas, SI Shivaji, WPC Vijayashree,PC Durga Rao and PC Rafi left for Mumbai armed with search warrants. The AHTU represented by DSP Prakash Jadhav and SI Demulu and Prajwala team of six counselors lead by Ahmed Ali also joined the team in Mumbai.
On 27th Nov 2009 the Andhra team in collaboration with Maharashtra team(both police and NGO) rescued 19 girls from Dayananda Building,Pula St, Mumbai. Five Traffickers were also arrested.
As two girls belonged to West Bengal, Rescue Foundation our Mumbai NGO partner took care of these two girls. The Hon’ble Magistrate Ms Savita Chavan directed Prajwala to take care of further rehabilitation of victims.
Immediately after the rescue Prajwala provided a welcome kit consisting of two pairs of clothes, under garments, towel, blanket, toiletery( sanitary pads,tooth brush, paste, oil,comb etc) and cosmetics such as ponds cold cream/fair and lovely to each victim and arranged for a bus to transport back 17 victims to Andhra Pradesh.
Within 48hrs after being rescued the Dist Collector of West Godavari Ms Vani Prasad released an amount of Rs 10,000/victim as an immediate relief measure and assured the victims all support such as housing, ration card as a part of the rehabilitation package.
Rescue operations involving two states with such large numbers of victim could be only possible due to strong coordination and partnership between all stakeholders police, NGO’s, judiciary and district administration.
Today the victims are in Prajwala Shelter for further rehabilitation. For us in Prajwala, the challenge begins now!

Some Respite...After a Storm

Finally we were able to purchase some land 60 kms from Hyderabad. It is a joyous and a scary moment. Joy for going one step further and a lot of fear in terms of how are we going to manage the construction of such a large place...over 600 children...staff...school...hospice...and a secure place.
Early on in my life, I was very clear that my conviction and beliefs are going to be the guiding principle for all that I do and facilitate. There have been times when I had to pause for a while contemplating whether it is such a good idea to stick on to your convictions. These were times when I refused financial support from a donor realizing the contradictory beliefs the donor had regarding commercial sexual exploitation or when I decided not to accept financial support from the government in order to maintain the organizational autonomy in advocacy. In all such times I was branded arrogant...headstrong and off course anti establishment.In some forums I am told there is a uncomfortable silence when my name is taken. I wondered in all those times am I rigid? am i insecure? am i incorrigible?
Something...somewhere in my soul supported my stand...gave it the strength it deserved to sustain. Today I have no regrets...
As today I am convinced that to ensure financial support for the organization I need not sell my soul...become project based rather than need based...design strategies/programs where funding is ensured...parrot thoughts and ideas that I do not personally believe in...funding will find its way also through genuine conviction and commitment to make a difference in the lives of people I serve.
Buying the land through the timely support of Mr M H Dalmiya is one such testimony of truth prevailing against all odds recognizing commitment for the cause.
Hope continues...in all adversities

Immunity for those fighting slavery

Today my doctor told me I need to have a surgery on my ear. As I sit back and mull about this...I realize this is one of the many irreversible prices I have to pay for being a activist fighting sex trafficking.

Years back goons beat me up damaging an ear...many years later I continue to face the aftermath of it in the form of partial deafness and a second surgery on the same ear.

Sometimes I wonder why there are only so few people who actually fight this form of modern day slavery...maybe one reason is the absolute lack of safety provided either by the state or the civil society.

Can we truly create a counter culture in this kind of hostile environment...my clan is more or less a extinct species...how can we save this clan...should we atleast not talk about it...before we are clubbed with rhinos or hippos.