One thing that has not changed in the last two decades of my mission is my "begging bowl". Way back in 1995 I used go around begging for a few thousands to run my small initiative. Insults, humiliations and rejection were more during those days. I remember once going to a rich businessman who was highly titillated by my mission,kept asking me hundred questions on what customers do to children, gave me a cup of tea and then took out his wallet searched among the 500 and 100 rupee notes, took out a Rs 50 note and gave it to me,and said very solemnly "this is my contribution for your cause, my company does not have a policy right now but if there is one I will surely make a larger contribution"!
In another instance a leading automobile showroom located at Basheerbagh,Hyderabad promised me Rs 10,000/ after making me run around for over a fortnight and then insisted that I sign on a receipt for Rs 40,000/ to actually get Rs 10,000/. Arrogant as I was then( still remain the same) I refused the donation and came back and promptly lost two well wishers who had made the connections.
Today of course the situation has changed I am not running for thousands but for millions. Rarely do I meet people who can rip me apart with their insensitivity, rarely do I have nightmares fearing how am I going to feed my children in my shelter...even more rarely do I break down overwhelmed with frustration "how long should I prove my credibility...how much do I need to damage myself so that the world understands that I am doing all this genuinely"...
But has my begging for support changed? Not at all? It is sometimes even worse than my earlier days. People think that I am extravagant to aim for a safe space for children. Donors, international agencies, supporters have a myriad reasons for cutting off support...it can range from recession to "your cause does not catch my fancy", or better still this cause is now no more our thrust area!!!.
That I continue do what I am doing is considered a demonstration of arrogance rather than commitment. I even had a well wisher telling me if you cannot look after these children, hand them over to the government! All because I went begging for support to construct our buildings.
And finally the million dollar question most donor agency ask" how is your organization going to become sustainable" we cannot be funding you eternally...
True so what should I be doing? Should I make my initiative a profit making unit charging huge interests for the services I am providing like what the Micro Finance Institutions like SKC are doing? Whom should I charge every time I risk my life and my team's to rescue victims? Whom should I charge for taking care of hundreds of child victims of trafficking? Whom should I bill for economically empowering thousands of young survivors of trafficking? Whom should I ask to pay for all the cremations/funerals I have to give to ensure a dignified exit from this world for my children( incidently not a single donor/supporter is willing to donate for a cremation)?
Or should I temporarily forget my main mission and become a actress, or a spiritual leader a mata"something" or maybe a sadhvi"something", or a celebrity chef...(I cannot go further as my talents are limited). It appears a large group of people are willing to donate to one of these more generously...
Today as I am surrounded by multiple financial crises- donor for our children's shelter phasing out, our second generation prevention program donor phasing out, our rescue efforts-no donors at all and biggest of all our construction of shelters which has over-shot the budget by 2 crores as the cost of building construction material( sand,cement,steel etc) has shot up by 250%... I am seriously thinking how does anybody expect us to become financially sustainable.Especially in a context when we are not even sustainable in terms of human resources!!!
It continues to be a great challenge to get people to work with us full time.For ages we are looking for somebody who can do our documentation for donor compliances ( believe me it is not possible to sit far away and do it as it requires a lot more of understanding of the pulse of the work )...or exclusively work on fund raising...or look after the advocacy...or work on marketing... Every time there is a physical attack on the organization the first persons to leave are the 'professionals', most cannot handle the pressure...including the pressure related to working with a person like me.
But I am sure there must be something logical and sensible in this expectation of 'sustainability'...just figuring out how to do it in a world which is slowly shrinking in terms of 'giving'...cutting down and downsizing is for humanitarian work( you will understand what I am saying if you see the budgets allocated for social sector)...but financial investments for war...ammunition...terrorism...marriages...scams(2G, CWG, IPL)...even auctioning for cricketers continues to grow with electrifying speed...
And fools like me continue to beg for constructing a safe shelter for victimized human beings...
